Good morning, everyone.
We will get started at 8:30.
Cameras on. Mics muted.
Today’s agenda:
1. Areas of concern- Run-on sentences, comma splices
2. Literary Terms
3. Sentence combining
4. Read story for homework. I will email it to you this morning.
“Roses Sing on New Snow”. This is our first short story. I will teach about the story. I will not walk you through the story. It is very important that you do the work of reading the story several times with your full attention.
So far in this course:
Focus on sentences!! simple, compound complex
Focus on paragraph writing!
Grabber
Topic sentence
Supporting sentences
Concluding
Next week – focus on details of sentence and paragraph writing.
-areas of concern, areas where we can improve, polish
1. Area of concern- run-on sentences, comma splices
run-on sentence – string of sentences, string of clauses put together that should be broken up, should be divided
My corrections note: “Divide” “Divide this into sentences.”
PROBLEM-long long strings of sentences and clauses that need to be divided up
Example of a run-on sentence:
I went out with my family we had a good time we went to Stanley Park and the kids played together we also brought some lunch.
I went out with my family we went to Stanley Park we had a good time the kids played together we also brought some lunch.
Five ideas all jammed together with no separation. We must divide this into sentences.
POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS:
I went out with my family. We went to Stanley Park. We had a good time. The kids played together. We also brought some lunch. SIMPLE- repetitive
I went out with my family to Stanley Park. We had a good time, and the kids played together. We also brought some lunch. SIMPLE & COMPOUND
I went out with my family. We had a good time when we went to Stanley Park. The kids played together, and we also brought some lunch. SIMPLE COMPLEX COMPOUND
I went out with my family. We had a good time when we went to Stanley Park. The kids played together; also, we brought some lunch.
SIMPLE COMPLEX COMPOUND ; TRANS,
All good solutions to fixing run-on sentences.
Comma splices: very common kind of punctuation error
Example of a comma splice:
I went out with my family, we had a good time, we went to Stanley Park, and the kids played together, we also brought some lunch.
You cannot divide sentences with commas. Commas are not strong enough.
I went out with my family, we had a good time, we went to Stanley Park, and the kids played together, we also brought some lunch.
SOLUTIONS:
I went out with my family. We had a good time.
I went out with my family; we had a good time.
I went out with my family, and we had a good time.
I went out with my family. We had a good time when we went to Stanley Park. The kids played together, and we also brought some lunch.
GOAL- To write our ideas into sentences that are high-quality English.
Your ideas in Chat?
1. We had a good time: we went to Stanley Park; the kids played together; we also brought some lunch. A LITTLE OVERDONE
2. We had a good time in Stanley Park. SIMPLE
3. If you win a million dollars in the lottery tomorrow. What would you do?
sentence fragment – only half of a sentence- I will teach this later in the week.
SOLUTION: If you win a million dollars in the lottery tomorrow, what would you do?
4. We went to Stanley park, we had fun there and the kids play to genera and we brought some lunch. XXX run-on, comma splices
PERFECT EXAMPLE:
We went to Stanley Park. We had fun there and the kids play to genera played and we brought some lunch.
We had fun there, and the kids played, and we brought some lunch.
BAD STYLE: SV, and SV, and SV.
BETTER STYLE: We had fun there because the kids played, and we brought some lunch. COMPOUND COMPLEX
Much better!!
5. After the trip for Maldives, I would Invest in some stocks market and another good example is, invest in some condominiums as well, and then have some more good times. TOO MUCH FOR ONE SENTENCE- DIVIDE
After the trip to the Maldives, I would invest in some stocks. Another good example would be investing in some condominiums as well. Then I would have some more good times.
Way better- the ideas are divided into sentences.
6. we had a good time when we went to Stanley park. The kids played together ,and we bought lunch too. XXX CAP
7. If time can go back to the past, I want to see Michael Jackson! AWK
If I could go back in time, I want to see Michael Jackson!
8. We went out to Stanley park so kids can play and have a good time ,also we grabbed some lunch. XXX comma splice
We went out to Stanley park, so the kids could play and have a good time; also, we grabbed some lunch.
9. If people don’t have a plan, they could lose much money to buy some things which is not necessary. Meaning? 3 ideas jammed together – not working well.
DIVIDE THE IDEAS INTO SENTENCES:
If people don’t have a plan/budget, they could lose a lot of money.
Meaning?
If people don’t have a financial plan/budget, they could lose/waste a lot of money because they will buy things that are unnecessary.
**NOTE: I will not fix that for you. You have to do that.
10. My family had a good time in Stanley Park; the kids played together, and we also brought some lunch.
11. I hope finished the English class to continue my education because I have a lots of goal.
RW I hope to finish the English class to continue my education because I have a lot of goals.
a lot of goals
lots of goals
Let’s stop making this mistake:
I want finished the class. XXX
I want to finish the class.
I hope to finish the class.
I want to go home.
She hope to learn the piano.
Jon wants to get a new job.
12. When we went to Stanley Park, we had a good time. The kids played some football, and we brought some lunch to eat.
13. We went camping for the weekend. The kids swam, and we made a barbecue for lunch. We had to come back early because it was raining.
14. We had a good time when we went to Stanley Park. The kids played together, and we bought lunch too. bought/brought?
15. I would like to regret my lost time with my grandmother if there is a chance to go back into my childhood. Meaning?
I would like to get back/reclaim my lost time with my grandmother if there is a chance to go back to my childhood.
More explanation of comma splices:
Foundations 6 Haley
SHEC
What is a Comma Splice?
A comma splice happens when you use just a comma to join two complete sentences. A comma just isn't strong enough to do the job.
Here is an example of a comma splice:
X I completed my essay, I have not submitted it.
How to Fix a Comma Splice
Solution 1: Use a period.
The simplest way to fix a comma splice is to separate the two sentences with a period.
I completed my essay. I have not submitted it.
I completed my English essay. Now I must go to the library to work on my history homework.
Solution 2: Use a semi-colon.
Use a semi-colon rather than a period if you want to show the sentences are very closely related.
I completed my essay; I have not submitted it.
I completed my English essay; next, I will tackle my history homework.
Solution 3: Use a coordinating conjunction.
A coordinating conjunction allows you to show the logical relationship between the two ideas.
I completed my essay, but I have not submitted it.
HINT: Remember your seven coordinating conjunctions: FANBOYS
Solution 4: Use a subordinating conjunction.
You can also link your two sentences together using a subordinating conjunction.
I completed my essay although I have not submitted it.
Although I completed my essay, I have not submitted it.
There are lots of subordinating conjunctions that you can use. Here are a few: while, although, because, if, since, unless, when, as, before, after, if.
HINT: The most important thing is to use a variety of solutions. Don't always write the same kind of sentence.
Comma Splice Exercises
Fix the sentences that need to be fixed.
1. I love eating durian, it is one of my favourite things.
2. We had a good lunch on the patio, we enjoyed a lovely stroll along the beach.
3. There are many reasons to visit Greece, the beaches are beautiful and the people are friendly.
4. I'll never be able to buy a house, prices these days are just ridiculous.
5. I can not afford a house in Vancouver, so I am moving to Hope.
6. This is a delicious cake, you must give me the recipe one day.
7. I'm not surprised the residents were upset, the repair bills are going to be astronomical.
8. Hungary is an interesting country, the churches contain some of the finest frescoes found anywhere in Europe.
9. I dreamt I was eating the world’s largest marshmallow, now my pillow is gone.
YOUR SOLUTIONS:
1. I love eating durian because this is one of my favorite things.
2. I love eating durian. It is one of my favourite things.
3. I love eating durian which is one of my favourite things.
THREE DIFFERENT WAYS TO SAY THE SAME IDEAS
4. We had a good lunch on the patio, and we enjoyed a lovely stroll along the beach.
5. I love eating durian because it is one of my favourite things.
6. I love eating durian which is one of my favourite things.
7. I love to eat durian which is my favourite fruit.
8. This is a delicious cake, so you must give me the recipe one day.
9. I love eating durian, and it is one of my favourite things.
10. We had a good lunch on the patio, and strolled along the beach. XXX punc
11. There are many reasons to visit Greece because the beaches are beautiful and the people are friendly.
12. I would never be able to buy a house these days since the price are ridiculous.
13. There are many reasons to visit Greece: the beaches are beautiful and people are friendly.
14. We had a good lunch on the patio, also we enjoyed a lovely stroll along the beach. XXX punc
15. These days, the price of the house is ridiculous, so I am not able to buy it. RW phrasing
16. I love eating durian and this is one of my favourite fruit. XXX punc
17. I stared Writing my own story, it is all are the real story, about what happened to me. XXX RW
18. I am moving to Hope because I can’t afford the house prices in Vancouver.
19. I'm not surprised the residents were upset because the repair bills are going to be astronomical.
20. Hungary is an interesting country because the churches contain some of the finest frescoes found anywhere in Europe.
21. I’ll never be able to buy a house because prices these days are just ridiculous. COMPLEX
SIMPLE SENTENCE- one idea
COMPOUND SENTENCE- two ideas, balanced
COMPLEX SENTENCE- two ideas, one more important than the other
HOMEWORK: Go through your paragraphs and find some run-ons or comma splices. I usually use a correction code like ‘Divide” or “run-on”. Fix them.
This week:
• Paragraphs-
Grabber
Topic sentence
• Sentence fragments
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