Good morning, everybody.
We will get started at 11:00.
Cameras on. Mics muted.
Today’s
agenda:
·
Paragraph writing – go over some examples from
homework
·
Idioms
Pronouns
– singular pronouns he/she
Joan loves the beach, so she
goes to the beach twice a week.
Lately,
recent years- change toward non-gendered words and pronouns
becoming
more popular
My
student was
late yesterday, and they were upset.
My
student was
late yesterday, and he/she was upset. out of style, ugly
him
or her, he or she, he/she – awkward, not beautiful
You
will find that people use ‘they’ and ‘them’ for singular pronouns.
Many
people have begun to choose their own pronouns. ‘they’ ‘them’
Things
are changing. Pronoun usage is changing. The grammar books can’t keep up. They
are out of date.
Tomorrow
– Test#1 pass-in paragraph (100-150 words) on an easy topic
For homework yesterday, many of you
wrote a paragraph and sent it to you. I chose about 7-8 of them. I would like
to go over them together. I have changed the names of the countries. e.g. “I
came from Pakistan ABC Country.”
Example #1:
INDENT- few spaces before the first
word
I came
to Canada in 1980. My whole
family moved to Vancouver from ABC Country.
I like this country because medical doctors and hospitals are very clean
and provide very good service for everybody rich or poor. In ABC Country poor people cannot afford medical
when they are sick. Canada has very
good laws and regulations for everybody. The police and justice system is
good. If you have lots of money only
then police will help .Both hospitals and police systems are very corrupt .
In Vancouver the weather is excellent lots to see lakes farms mountain
beaches parks .there is lots of things to do activities Gym, Swimming, skiing,
mountain climbing roller skating, ice skating , ice hockey we did not have these activities in India RW. There are lots of games to watch and see on
tv. In Canada, I feel very safe outside
at night. In ABC Country we cannot
leave house or our Village at night there is no safety. These are some of the reasons why I came
to Canada this wonderful, beautiful country.
TOO LONG- EDIT DOWN TO 100-150 words
Good structure. Revise sentences.
Example #2
No grabber
In general, the Internet
have more benefits and harmful to children RW. First, the benefits of
the Internet for children frag. The Internet helps children develop their
writing skills through using e-mail. Also, It can develop their communication
skills. And can use it in Entertainment. Finally, children can watch
useful videos on YouTube. Nevertheless, moderation is very good. If parents cannot controlled. It will turn
into harms RW. If the time is not organized in using the Internet then it
will be a waste of time. Also, wasting time in using games. Further, eating
while using the Internet leads to obesity. Moreover, if the children spending
time surfing the Internet, they will lost social life. Finally, communicating with the public and sharing
personal information, which causes problems. So, the parents must use the
Internet carefully with children, So that they use its benefits, and avoid its
dangers.
Good stucture. The sentence writing
is weak.
Example #3
NO GRABBER
Because I married
to my husband, I came to Canada. I never thought that I should have left my
homecountry. I have the impression that Canada is very cold, big, civilized and
advanced. Canada also is an excellent country for people to live in. Now I am
living in Vancouver. I found that a lot of scenic spots that I love was close
to us in Vancouver. I can always keep my lifestyle that nobody wants to judge
me. I think that my husband is a right person and Canada is right place to my
life. it’s an amazing I met my husband who lives in Canada. It was in the
stars.
Good first
paragraph.
Example #4
NO GRABBER
Adapting to a new
culture was very difficult for me. First of all,
language is hard to learn and I had
did not know English at all when I come to Canada. If you don not know speaking
English it is hard for you a daily life even at home because my brothers can
not speak ABC Language and my Mom do not want to talk ABC Language to me. RW
It was very tough, but I want to stay with my family in Canada. So I have to
learn English. Secondly, I didn’t much friends in here and very hard to me true
friend.RW Finally, I can’t go out by myself because my family afraid I
get lost. However, adapting to a new culture was difficult for me.
Good points. Well organized. Sentences
need improvement.
Example #5
If
you go to a new country, you have got to learn and respect some cultures from
this country. I agreed that adapting to
a new culture is difficult but we can make a good start. Frist, We are speaking
different language, so we will have trouble with the communication. If I am
going to a country, I will learn some magic words about this language like
“Thank you” “please” “sorry” etc. Second, we were growing up in different
habits that are about wearing, eating, religious etc. We should know what is
absolutely not to do in that culture. Finally, we had better respect and follow
the culture of the country you live or visit. We must learn although it is
difficult to adapt to a new culture.
Good paragraph. Well organized.
Sentences need revision.
Example #6
This is an era of
technological development. The internet is very important part in the world. I
can’t say absolutely that internet is harmful to children, but it has a side
that is harmful to them. Frist of all, they can use the internet for searching
anything what they want to know. Sometimes they can’t distinguish good or bad.
Second, if they play the video games fragment. They don’t do
anything, even they’re addicted to games RW. Of course, I think the
internet can also be helpful to children. They can learn more knowledge outside
the school. So I think how to ues it, that’s RW very important for
children.
STRUCTURE
Good point
Good point
Bad point
Bad point
Sentences need to be stronger.
SIMPLE, COMPOUND, COMPLEX
In ABC
Language, we
have a proverb that says, “The fish is fresh whenever you take it out of the
water.” I came to Canada to get new opportunities, and I live better than
before. There are three reasons why I
chose Canada. First of all, there
is equality between men and women
and respect for women in society. I am a woman and the religious government has taken my freedom
in my country. Second, there is cultural
and multinational diversity in Canada. It helps people interact better with each other. The third
reason is to get new opportunities. I love cooking and I followed Hamid
Salimian, the famous ABC-Canadian chef. He teaches at VCC College and I dreamed
of learning to cook from him. Finally, Canada is a safe country for the growth of ideas and
creativity. I am happy with my choice,
and I appreciate all the people who welcomed me in the last two years.
Excellent structure.
Fix sentence fragments.
Revise comma usage.
Example #7
I have loved
Canada since I was a child, I always wanted to come to Canada, and finally got
my dream and now I’m here, but I struggled so much to get here, we have a
sentence in ABC Language: “I passed haft khane Rostam; it’s
meaning I passed through many gates.
We are free
in Canada, women’s rights are respected here, the people don’t harm animals,
you can wear dresses any way you want, freedom to have your own religion,
without anyone bothering you, people of all nationalities live here, different
food also.
I like
Canadian culture, and in my opinion, Canada is one of the most beautiful
countries in the world, very beautiful nature, including mountains, rivers,
there are also many animals in the forests, including bears, I love bears.
Canada is a
dream that everyone wants, so I’m so glad be here.
A
paragraph should be one block of writing.
INDENT
– use the TAB key, beside the ‘Q’ key.
OR hit the SPACE BAR 5 or 6 times
I have loved Canada since I was a child. I always wanted
to come to Canada, and finally got my dream and now I’m here, but I struggled
so much to get here, we have a sentence in ABC Language DIVIDE THIS INTO SENTENCES: “I passed haft khane Rostam; it’s
meaning I passed through many gates. We are free in Canada, women’s rights are respected here, the
people don’t harm animals, you can wear dresses any way you want, freedom to
have your own religion, without anyone bothering you, people of all
nationalities live here, different food also DIVIDE THIS INTO SENTENCES. I like Canadian culture, and in my opinion, Canada is one of
the most beautiful countries in the world, very beautiful nature, including
mountains, rivers, there are also many animals in the forests, including bears,
I love bears. Canada is a dream that everyone wants, so I’m so glad be here.
Rewrite this in sentences: simple, compound, complex
Now that we are moving into paragraph writing, I will
not correct the grammar details of your sentences as much.
I have done this a lot in the past four weeks. I don’t
want to keep correcting the same things over and over and over.
e.g. cap
The corrections will not be as detailed as they were
before. If I correct every error in a paragraph, I will be doing it for hours
and hours.
I will give a few detailed corrections and then broad
suggestions
For example, if you having trouble with comma usage, I
will correct the first one or two in the paragraph and then leave the rest for
you to find.
You already know where you are strong and where you
are weak in your writing: punc vf vt.
I do editing for university student but that is
rewriting, not correcting.
You will have to begin to become more independent in
finding your own errors. You can’t rely on anyone else to do that work for you.
Tomorrow- Friday.
Test#1 – Time will be about 60 minutes.
Write a well-organized paragraph of 100-150 words on one
of the following topics.
1. AAA
2. BBB
Internet is harmful to children
Any piece
of technology or tool can be used to help us or to hurt us. The internet is
no different. If you are concerned about your child’s use of the internet, follow
these three steps to protect them. First, only allow your child to use their
computer in the kitchen or living room, where the family is. Do not
allow them to use their computer in private. Second, put software on the computer
that will limit control the websites and content that they can access
see. You can choose which level of violence, sexuality, language etc. that
what your child will be exposed to see. Finally and most importantly,
talk to your kids about the internet. Tell them that what they see on the
internet is not necessarily real life. When they see bad things by mistake,
they must be taught that they do not have to talk or act in these ways. In the
end, the internet is a wonderful tool, but like all tools such as a knife or
a saw, it must be treated responsibly.
(174 words- too long)
Grabber
Topic sentence
3 supporting sentences
Concluding sentences
haleyshec.blogspot.com
No comments:
Post a Comment