Today’s agenda:
1. Review Test#5 paragraph on “Roses Sing on New Snow”
2. Sentence combining exercises
3. Shapes of sentences: coordination and subordination.
4. HW Read “The Wise Woman of Cordoba”. I emailed it to you
earlier this morning. We will start to work on that story Wednesday.
Test#5
paragraph about “Roses Sing on New Snow”
“What are some reasons Maylin became famous?”
Paragraph response:
Grabber- entryway into the paragraph
Topic sentence that addresses the topic – puts the paragraph on track, gives it direction
Supporting points (3 points is ideal, a good number to aim for)
Concluding sentence
(150-200 words)
Few issues to keep in mind:
1. Avoid plot summary. Don’t retell the story. Stick to explaining your supporting points.
2. Avoid first person. No “I”. All third person. Also, no ‘you’.
Be cognizant of pronouns and voice.
3. Don’t copy from the story. Use your own words.
Tomorrow- Using quoted material from a story. Borrowing and quoting words and phrases from a story.
“ “ using quotation marks
Question or tricky sentences from your paragraph?
quoting words from the story
Maylin showed how brave she was when she made a “daring request” that she and the governor cook the dish together.
incorporating quoted material into out writing
higher level of writing- English 10, 11, 12 and college, university
- quote only a few words, not whole sentences, phrases
When Maylin asked the governor to cook the dish together, “The guests gasped° at her daring request.” TOO LONG, TOO MUCH
Writing a response to a question about a story.
There is no one right answer.
-have to be familiar with the story, read at least 3-4 times
First time you read it – basics- setting, characters, plot
Second read- look deeper- symbolism, deeper message, e.g. how does setting affect plot, why did she name the dish RSoNS?
-know the structure of a paragraph
-know the content of a paragraph
-follow the process
“What are some reasons Maylin became famous?”
PROCESS
Prewriting
1. Read the question. Understand the question. What is the question asking you to do?
2. Brainstorm a few points.
3 points- ideal
Mix of academic work and creative work
3. Put them in order.
Writing
4. Start to write sentences.
Grabber
Topic sentence
Supporting points
Concluding sentence.
5. Proofread and edit
6. Hand it in on time
Example of student paragraphs:
Example 1
What are some reasons Maylin became well-known in her community?
Maylin became well-known in her community for some reasons. First, she was not afraid to argue with the governor about cooking the dish “Roses Sing on New Snow”. In Chinese culture women and men were treated differently, and men had higher status than women. Therefore, girls didn’t have access to education or rights in the family; also, society didn’t expect any woman’s achievements expect women to achieve much with their lives. However, Maylin was very brave to resist when she resisted the man governor. The second reason was her wisdom; Maylin was able to prove to the governor that it wasn’t enough to know only the ingredients to cook the same dish. Her cooking and painting comparison was fantastic evidence that she was right. Finally, this young Chinese Canadian woman was known widely like as a wonderful cook because she loved to cook and made all of her customers happy and smile content. In conclusion, from the reasons above, Maylin was well-known throughout the New World.
5/6, 4.5/6
NOTE: I have a parttime business where I edit academic papers for university students.
A makeup artist for school papers.
Example 2
People become well-known because of their talents, like singing, dancing, and even having natural beauty. In the story “Roses Sing on New Snow”, Maylin became so well-known in their her town that even the Emperor heard about her famous dish. The reason why Maylin became famous is that she prepared a flavorful dish for the governor. She collected the finest ingredients for her dish which she called “Roses Sing on New Song”. The governor loved Maylin’s dish so much that he wanted to show it to the emperor of China. He wanted to know what Maylin’s secret was in that mouth-watering dish, but Maylin just answered with wisdom. The governor was shocked at how talented and wise Maylin was. Maylin became famous for being a great cook and wise person. Her dish was even heard of by the emperor of China. Being a talented and wise person made Maylin well-known in her community.
4/6
4.5/6
You start to develop a feel for what a paragraph should look like and sound like. The first few times can be tricky and even confusing. After you have written a dozen or so, you will be more able to bang out a decent paragraph answer much more easily, with less hair-pulling.
We will try another paragraph soon based on the short story “The Wise Woman of Cordoba” which I emailed you earlier today.
so… that even
It was so cold yesterday that even the ducks weren’t swimming in the harbour. ‘even’ – suggests surprising, unusual
The math test was so hard that even John didn’t do well.
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