EF56 11:00 Jan22

 Today’s agenda:  

1. More challenging sentence combining

2. Begin essay work

I emailed you two documents about essay writing. Check your email.

Test#6- I will finish marking those by Monday.

camping – glamping (camping + glamour)

Getting away into the woods for a couple of days is really reenergizing for me.

sentence writing – paragraph writing – essay writing?

sentence writing – practice

good books that you can use, be your own teacher

Paragraph Patterns, Auerback and Snyder

https://www.amazon.ca/Paragraph-Patterns-Barbara-Auerbach/dp/015567983X

-easier level, but still not a beginner’s book

Investing in good writing books has been valuable to me.

- a good style book is great guide for a developing writer

Style: 10 Lessons in Clarity and Grace Joseph Williams

-transformative book for me, changed the way I wrote

-changed the way I thought about sentences

-basis of my proofreading business

-not a beginner’s book, not about grammar

-about style, writing sentences that are effective and beautiful

sentence combining exercises – fantastic way to practice style

From Paragraph Patterns, Auerback and Snyder

Sentence Combining Sheet 2

Example: 

a. Katherine woke up.

b. The alarm clock rang loudly at 7:00 A.M.

When the alarm clock rang loudly at 7:00 A.M., Katherine woke up.

Katherine woke up when the alarm clock rang loudly at 7:00 A.M.

The alarm clock rang loudly at 7:00 A.M., and Katherine woke up.

1. a. David and Peter went on a camping trip. KERNEL

b. They went to the White Mountains in New Hampshire.

c. They went in June.

SIMPLE

David and Peter went on a camping trip to the White Mountains in New Hampshire in June. string of prepositional phrases

In June, David and Peter went on a camping trip to the White Mountains in New Hampshire. nice style

Just for fun, we add some of our information:

David and Peter, my friends, went on a camping trip to the White Mountains in New Hampshire in June. appositive

David and Peter, who are good friends, went on a camping trip to the White Mountains in New Hampshire in June.

2. a. They checked all their equipment.

b They got into the car for the long ride to the mountains.

SIMPLE

They checked all their equipment and got into the car for the long ride to the mountains. SVV

COMPOUND

They checked all their equipment; then they got into the car for the long ride to the mountains.

COMPLEX -adv cl

After they checked all their equipment, they got into the car for the long ride to the mountains.

Before they got into the car for the long ride to the mountains, they checked all their equipment.

Four different ways- that’s good enough for any job or school or any situation.

This is our goal, to be able write freely in a variety of styles.

3. a. They arrived at the campground in the late afternoon.

b. They set up camp near a small stream.

4. a. David put up the tent.

b. Peter cooked supper over the fire.

5. a. They crawled into their sleeping bags at sunset.

b. They became nervous.

c. They began to hear animal noises.

6. a. Peter wanted to get up and go to the car.

b. David said it would be better Just to go to sleep.

7. a. They got up at sunrise.

b. They got up before the other campers.

c. They made a hearty breakfast.

8. a. David and Peter prepared for a long hike.

b. It was their first hike.

c. They decided to go to the top of Mount Madison.

9. a. They began the climb.

b. It started to rain.

c. They decided to go home.

Your solutions:

1. After they arrived at the campground in the late afternoon, they set up camp near a small stream.

2. David put up the tent, and Peter cooked supper over the fire.  

3. Peter wanted to get up and go to the car, but David said it would be better just to go to sleep.

4. David and Peter prepared for their first long hike by deciding to go to the top of Mount Madison.

5. David and Peter prepared for a long hike, their first hike, and decided to go the top of Mount Madison. appositive

6. It started to rain; they decided to go home.

7. David and Peter,  prepared, their first hike for a long hike.

8. When they began the climb, it started to rain, so they decided to go home.

9. They got up at sunrise before the other campers, and they made a hearty breakfast.

10. David put up the tent; at the same time, Peter cooked supper over the fire.

11. It started to rain when they began the climb, so they decided to go home.

12. They crawled into their sleeping bags at sunset, and they became nervous when they began to hear animal noises.

13. They got up at sunrise before the other campers; as a result, they made a hearty breakfast.

14. They got up at sunrise before the other campers and made a hearty breakfast. SIMPLE

15. When it started to rain, they began the climb, so they decided to go home.

16. While David put up the tent, Peter cooked supper over the fire.

17. They got up at sunrise before the other campers; after that, they made a hearty breakfast.

after that = then, next, afterwards

18. David and Peter prepared for their first long hike, and they decided to go to the top of Mount Madison.

hearty – substantial

“a hearty lunch” “a hearty soup”

“ a thin broth”

If you are sick, you should have some thin chicken broth.

These are good example of a variety of sentences. These are the kinds of sentence that you want to write in your own paragraphs.

The sentence combining is the practice that can get you there.

I practiced guitar last night for an hour. I focused on one area: harmonized scales. Tonight I will do the same thing. Over some months, the harmonized scales will become second nature to me. I will be able to play them when I play with other people, not just in my practice room.

second nature- you can do it without thinking about it, feels routine

It is the same thing with learning to write sentences.

Improvement comes with steady consistent practice. There’s no big secret. There is no hack.