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Good morning.
We’ll get started at 11.
Today’s agenda
1. Share sentence combining from homework
Tomorrow- Confessions writing
Sentences – simple, compound, complex
Sentence combining – useful, practical ways to get better at sentence writing
- taking several short sentences and combining into one longer, more complicated sentence
1. Start with the Kernel
2. Find new information in the following sentences.
3. Choose how you want to combine them. Choose what kind of sentence you want to write.
Goals for sentence combining:
1. Compact sentence
2. Dense sentence -lots of meaning in as few words as possible
3. Avoid repetition
Sentence combining exercises.
The first sentence will be the kernel. Find new information in the other sentences. Add the new information to the
kernel. Remember that every sentence you write has to be simple, compound, or complex.
AIR SHOW
1. The air show attracts locals. KERNEL – main sentence, everything will be attached to this
The air show attracts tourists. new information
There are thousands of people.
The show grows bigger.
The show grows every year.
The air show attracts locals
tourists
There are thousands of people.
grows bigger
every year
SOLUTION – VERY QUALITY SENTENCES
The air show which attracts thousands of locals and tourists grows bigger every year.
The air show which attracts thousands of people, including locals and tourists, grows bigger every year.
The air show which grows bigger every year attracts thousands of locals and tourists.
The air show attracts thousands of locals and tourists, and it grows bigger every year.
The air show attracts thousands of locals and tourists; in fact, it grows bigger every year.
2. Jets fly overhead.
They are screaming.
They fly low.
They fly in teams.
Their pilots display skills.
YOUR SOLUTIONS (in Chat to share):
1. Jets fly low overhead in teams, and they are screaming; also, their pilots display skills. Combine more fully
Screaming jets fly low overhead in teams; also, their pilots display skills.
2. The pilots display their skills with flying the jets overhead. They are screaming, fly low and in teams. parallelism
They are screaming, fly low and in teams. screaming (v), fly (v) – different form of the verb prep phrase
They are screaming and flying low in teams. MUCH BETTER - parallel
3. Jets are screaming and flying low, overhead, and in teams; so that their pilots display skills. awk punc
Jets are screaming and flying low and overhead in teams as their pilots display skills.
4. Jets fly overhead they are screaming and low in teams; their pilots display skills. RO
Jets fly overhead screaming and low in teams; their pilots display skills.
5. Jets fly screaming overhead and low in teams, their pilot display skills.
6. Jets fly overhead they are screaming fly low in teams; however, their pilots display skills. RW
7. Jets fly overhead in low teams, and their pilots display skills.
8. As the jets are flying overhead, low , and in teams; so, people are screaming for their pilots display skills. punc
As the jets are flying overhead, low, and in teams, people are screaming as the pilots display their skills.
9. When screaming jets fly overhead, their pilots display skills by flying low and in teams.
MY EXAMPLE
Their pilots display their skills as the teams of screaming jets fly low overhead.
Basic sentence – simple, compound, complex
You have a lot of work to do. Your sentences are not strong yet.
The quality of the sentences must be higher.
3. Adults watch.
They are in awe.
They are cringing.
Some children are crying.
Some children cover their·ears.
They want to see more.
Adults watch.
They are in awe.
They are cringing.
Some children are crying.
Some children cover their·ears.
They want to see more.
Adults watch.
in awe.
cringing.
Some children are crying
cover their·ears
want to see more
MY SOLUTION:
Cringing adults watch in awe, and some children are crying and covering their ears; nevertheless, they all want to see more.
4. Skydivers float to earth.
They are 1000 metres up.
They float gently.
They float down.
They guide their falls.
They land on a cross.
The cross is white.
Try #4 in Chat.
1. Skydivers floats to earth gently and down from 1000 meters up; however, they falls on a white cross.
Skydivers float down to earth gently from 1000 meters up; then they fall on a white cross.
2. The skydivers who float down gently 1000 meters up guide their falls, and land on a white cross.
The skydivers who float down gently from 1000 meters up guide their falls, and they land on a white cross.
3. A thousand meters up skydiver float to earth gently and down to the land whitecross while guiding their falls. translation RW
4. Skydivers float to earth about 1000 meters up gently down their falls to land on a white cross.
Skydivers float gently down to earth from about 1000 meters up and guide their falls to land on a white cross.
5. The 1000 metres up skydivers float gently down to earth, as they guide their falls and land on a white cross. translation
The skydivers who are 1000 metres up…
6. The skydivers gently float 1000 meters up and down to guide their falls, which is the white cross in the earth.
The skydivers gently float 1000 meters down to guide their falls, which is the white cross in the earth.
7. Skydivers float thousand meters down to earth gently; they guide their falls which is the white cross in the earth.
8. Skydivers float gently down to the earth are 1000 metres up, and guide their falls land on a white cross. RW
My opinion: This kind of work is the most valuable for your practice time. Most bang for the buck.
Sentence combining gives the best return on improving your sentence writing.
If this is too hard, don’t combine them all. Combine just a few of them.
1. Skydivers float to earth.
They are 1000 metres up.
They float gently.
They float down.
They guide their falls.
They land on a cross.
The cross is white.
Skydivers float to earth.
They float gently.
They float down.
They land on a cross.
The cross is white.
Skydivers float to earth.
gently.
down.
land on a cross.
white
Skydivers float gently down to earth and land on a white cross.
70% of the original – good start if you are finding these tough
5. Biplanes engage in fights.
The planes are imitations of early aircraft.
The fights are typical of WW1.
Biplanes engage in fights.
imitations of early aircraft
typical of WW1
COMPACT, DENSE SOLUTION:
Biplanes which are imitations of early aircraft engage in fights which were typical of WW1.
For homework, I’ll email you a few more exercises.
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