Thursday, 21 July 2022

Eng 10 11 SUMMER harder parallelism, quoting text

 

Good morning.

We will get started at 8:30.

 

Today’s Agenda:

·      Continue parallelism – more challenging

·      Continue quoting text

·      Test#3 “I Confess” and/or “Dead Man’s Path” (final 60m)

·      HW   Read “The Ninny” and make notes for Thought Questions

for tomorrow

 

Friday

·      Begin adjective clauses

·      Continue quoting text

·      “The Ninny”

 

Monday

·      Continue adjective clauses

 

Tuesday

·      Quiz#5- adjective clauses

·      Career module

·       

 

Wednesday

·      Begin noun clause

·      Continue career module

 

 

 

These are some of your examples of higher-level parallelism solutions from homework:

1.    Exercises that I enjoy doing are marathon running, swimming lengths in a pool, riding my bicycle in the park, and walking along the trails in a forest.

Parallel?  not

swimming lengths in a pool  Gerund prepositional phrase

Exercises that I enjoy doing are running marathons, swimming lengths in a pool, riding my bicycle in the park, and walking along the trails in a forest.

ALTERNATIVE

Exercises that I enjoy doing are marathon running, lap/length swimming in a pool, bicycle riding in the park, and trail walking along the forest.

 

Rewriting and redrafting is crucial to good writing.

 

2.    At the party, my sister helped us (to) make the cake, gathered the kids for games, cleaned up and drove some kids home.

 

CAUSATIVE VERBS ask tell invite

help + infinitive  She helped him to pick out some new clothes.

help + infinitive –‘to’   She helped him pick out some new clothes.

 

At the party, my sister helped us, making the cake, gathering the kids for games, cleaning up and driving some kids home.

 

At the party, my sister helped us make the cake, gather the kids for games, clean up and drive some kids home.

 

At the party, my sister helped us to make the cake, to gather the kids for games, to clean up and to drive some kids home.

 

At the party, my sister helped us by making the cake, gathering the kids for games, cleaning up and driving some kids home.

 

You help me by listening to me.

We help the community by volunteering at the seniors’ home.

 

 

3.    Our latest math instructor was enthusiastic, cracked a lot of jokes, was demanding, and failed half of the class.

Our latest math instructor was enthusiastic, funny, and demanding; in the end, he failed half of the class.

 

4.     We must either change the laws about drunk driving or it will be
 necessary to start enforcing them more strictly.

POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS

We must change the laws about drunk driving, or it will be
necessary to start enforcing them more strictly. COMPOUND

We must either change the laws about drunk driving or start enforcing them more strictly.

We must either change the laws about drunk driving or enforce them more strictly.

We must change the laws about drunk driving or enforce them more strictly. Authoritative SIMPLE SENTENCE SVV

 

drunk driving, driving drunk, DUI- driving under the influence, DWI- driving while intoxicated

 

5.    Our latest math instructor was enthusiastic and he cracked a lot of jokes, but (he was) demanding and failed half the class.

Our latest math instructor was enthusiastic, and he cracked a lot of jokes, but (he was) demanding and failed half the class. XXX

Our latest math instructor was enthusiastic and cracked a lot of jokes, but he was demanding and failed half the class. COMPOUND SVV, SOBA SVV

Our latest math instructor was enthusiastic and cracked a lot of jokes; however, he was demanding and failed half the class.

; nevertheless,

; surprisingly,

; shockingly,

; unfortunately,

; sadly,

 

6.    The English teacher spoke in a nasal tone, unpleasantly, but conveying  the information clearly and was funny.

FIXES

The English teacher spoke in a nasal tone, unpleasantly, but she conveyed the information clearly and humorously.

The English teacher spoke in an unpleasant nasal tone, but she clearly and humorously conveyed the information.

 

7.    The English teacher spoke in an unpleasant nasal tone, but she conveyed the information clearly and funnily.

 

8.    Drunk drivers are thoughtless and take the lives of other people in their own hands, risking their own lives, think about only their own pleasure and fun and never considering the consequence of their action.

Drunk drivers thoughtlessly take the lives of other people in their own hands as well as risk their own lives, thinking about only their own pleasure and fun and never considering the consequence of their action.

 

Drunk drivers are thoughtless, taking the lives of other people in their own hands, risking their own lives, thinking about only their own pleasure and fun, and never considering the consequence of their action.

 

 

9.    Benefits of coaching include knowing each player, helping that player to improve, and getting to see that person succeed in life.

Benefits of coaching include many things: for example, knowing each player, helping that player to improve, and getting to see that person succeed in life.

Benefits of coaching include many things; for example, you get to know each player, help that player to improve, and get to see that person succeed in life.

 

Benefits of coaching include many things, such as knowing each player, helping that player to improve, and getting to see that person succeed in life.

 

such as – give a few examples, but there are more

 

10.                       To my horror, my wedding dress looked stained, torn and wrinkled. Adj

 

Really good work. This looks like college/university level writing.

 

pronoun – I you he she they we us her his my

pronoun (our definition)- a word that substitutes for a noun  woman she Nielesh he Joe Wong I

 

 

 

When should I quote a word?

Why am I using this word? Is it a word that I use on my own, or am I borrowing it from the story? You have to make a judgement call.

 

 

·      Talk about plagiarism – copying from a text without using “ ”

·      Incorporate quoted material into our sentences.

·      Not copying sentences

·      borrow/quote just 1-2 words, 2-3 words, 3-4 words

·      no long quotations, long quotations are no good for short answers

EF5 paragraph – 125-150ww

EF6,EF7, Eng10, Eng11  -150-200ww

- a few 3,4,5 short quotations (2-4, 3-4 words each)

If we use long quotations in a short paragraph, then half of the writing is just quotations.

 

If you are writing a 10-page paper, you can use longer quotations.

For this class, Eng10,11,12 – stick to several short quotations

 

*** This is a skill that must be practiced and perfected

 

 

EXAMPLE\

Choose a short 2,3,4-word section from “I Confess”

Incorporate a short quotation into your own sentence.

 

e.g.

RAW QUOTATION THAT I WANT TO WORK WITH

“I had set myself strict standards”(1)

Choose important word or words or a phrase.

“strict standards”

 

Incorporate the key words or phase into my own sentence.

 

Mr. Wei was very tough on Wang Wei because he wanted to hold the student to the “strict standards”(1) that he had set.

 

Different colleges use different styles- e.g MLA style, APA style, Chicago style

 

THE QUOTED MATERIAL IS INCORPORATED INTO OUR WRITING

Mr. Wei was very tough on Wang Wei because he wanted to hold the student to the “strict standards”(1) that he had set.

 

Another example

“Indistinct carvings”(3)

Mr. Wei realized his error when he saw the “Indistinct

carvings”(3) in the corner of the desktop.

 

Mr. Wei realized his error when he saw the “[i]ndistinct

carvings”(3) in the corner of the desktop.

[ ] square brackets – use to make minor stylistic changes

 

 

1.    Borrow a few words.

2.    Incorporate them into your sentence.

 

Let’s practice. Try some on your own.

Write a few sentences that have quoted text in them.

Please email me a few of your examples. Tomorrow, we look at the examples you came up with.

 

Some of your examples:

1.    Mr. Obi did not consider the negative consequences of his “misguided zeal”(3) when he was dealing with the villagers.

2.     

 

 

NOTE: In paragraph of 150-200 words, two or three quotations is enough.

Think about a chocolate chip cookie. How many chocolate chips are there? Enough? Not enough? Too many?

 

 

 

Test#3 “I Confess” and/or “Dead Man’s Path” (final 60m)

No need to do quotations. Feel free to try a few if you want.

150-200 word paragraph

Grabber

Topic sentence

Supporting sentences

Concluding sentence

 

“Who is a better role model for his students: Mr. Wei or Mr. Obi?”

 

 

 

 

 

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