Good morning.
We will get started at 8:30.
Today’s Agenda:
· Continue
parallelism – more challenging
· Continue
quoting text
· Test#3
“I Confess” and/or “Dead Man’s Path” (final 60m)
· HW Read “The Ninny” and make notes for Thought
Questions
for
tomorrow
Friday
· Begin
adjective clauses
· Continue
quoting text
· “The
Ninny”
Monday
· Continue
adjective clauses
Tuesday
·
Quiz#5- adjective clauses
·
Career module
·
Wednesday
·
Begin noun clause
·
Continue career module
These are some of your
examples of higher-level parallelism solutions from homework:
1.
Exercises that I
enjoy doing are marathon running, swimming lengths in a pool, riding
my bicycle in the park, and walking along the trails in a forest.
Parallel?
not
swimming
lengths in a pool Gerund prepositional phrase
Exercises
that I enjoy doing are running marathons, swimming lengths in a pool,
riding my bicycle in the park, and walking along the trails in a
forest.
ALTERNATIVE
Exercises that
I enjoy doing are marathon running, lap/length swimming in a pool,
bicycle riding in the park, and trail walking along the forest.
Rewriting and redrafting is
crucial to good writing.
2.
At the party, my
sister helped us (to) make the cake, gathered the kids for games,
cleaned up and drove some kids home.
CAUSATIVE VERBS ask tell
invite
help + infinitive She helped him to pick out some new clothes.
help + infinitive –‘to’ She helped him pick out some new clothes.
At the party, my sister helped
us, making the cake, gathering the kids for games, cleaning
up and driving some kids home.
At the party, my sister helped
us make the cake, gather the kids for games, clean up and drive
some kids home.
At the party, my sister helped
us to make the cake, to gather the kids for games, to clean
up and to drive some kids home.
At the party, my sister helped
us by making the cake, gathering the kids for games, cleaning
up and driving some kids home.
You help me by listening to
me.
We help the community by volunteering
at the seniors’ home.
3.
Our latest
math instructor was enthusiastic, cracked a lot of jokes, was demanding, and
failed half of the class.
Our latest
math instructor was enthusiastic, funny, and demanding; in the end, he failed
half of the class.
4.
We must
either change the laws about drunk driving or it will be
necessary to start enforcing them more strictly.
POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS
We must change
the laws about drunk driving, or it will be
necessary to start enforcing them more strictly. COMPOUND
We must
either change the laws about drunk driving or start enforcing them
more strictly.
We must
either change the laws about drunk driving or enforce them more
strictly.
We must change
the laws about drunk driving or enforce
them more strictly. Authoritative SIMPLE SENTENCE SVV
drunk driving, driving drunk,
DUI- driving under the influence, DWI- driving while intoxicated
5.
Our latest math
instructor was enthusiastic and he cracked a lot of jokes, but (he was)
demanding and failed half the class.
Our latest
math instructor was enthusiastic, and he cracked a lot of jokes, but (he was)
demanding and failed half the class. XXX
Our latest
math instructor was enthusiastic
and cracked a lot of jokes, but he was demanding and failed half the class. COMPOUND SVV, SOBA SVV
Our latest
math instructor was enthusiastic
and cracked a lot of jokes; however, he
was demanding and failed half the class.
; nevertheless,
; surprisingly,
; shockingly,
; unfortunately,
; sadly,
6.
The English
teacher spoke in a nasal tone, unpleasantly, but conveying the
information clearly and was funny.
FIXES
The English
teacher spoke in a nasal tone, unpleasantly, but she conveyed the information
clearly and humorously.
The English
teacher spoke in an unpleasant nasal tone, but she clearly and humorously conveyed
the information.
7.
The English teacher
spoke in an unpleasant nasal tone, but she conveyed the information clearly and
funnily.
8.
Drunk drivers are
thoughtless and take the lives of other people in their own hands, risking
their own lives, think about only their own pleasure and fun and never
considering the consequence of their action.
Drunk
drivers thoughtlessly take the lives of other people in their own hands
as well as risk their own lives, thinking about only their own
pleasure and fun and never considering the consequence of their action.
Drunk
drivers are thoughtless, taking the lives of other people in their own
hands, risking their own lives, thinking about only their own
pleasure and fun, and never considering the consequence of their action.
9.
Benefits of
coaching include knowing each player, helping that player to
improve, and getting to see that person succeed in life.
Benefits of
coaching include many things: for example, knowing each player, helping
that player to improve, and getting to see that person succeed in life.
Benefits of
coaching include many things; for example, you get to know each player, help
that player to improve, and get to see that person succeed in life.
Benefits of
coaching include many things, such as knowing each player, helping
that player to improve, and getting to see that person succeed in life.
such as –
give a few examples, but there are more
10.
To my horror, my
wedding dress looked stained, torn and wrinkled. Adj
Really good work. This looks like
college/university level writing.
pronoun – I you he she they
we us her his my
pronoun (our definition)- a
word that substitutes for a noun woman
she Nielesh he Joe Wong I
When should I quote a word?
Why am I using this word? Is it a word that I
use on my own, or am I borrowing it from the story? You have to make a
judgement call.
· Talk
about plagiarism – copying from a text without using “ ”
· Incorporate
quoted material into our sentences.
· Not
copying sentences
· borrow/quote
just 1-2 words, 2-3 words, 3-4 words
· no
long quotations, long quotations are no good for short answers
EF5 paragraph – 125-150ww
EF6,EF7, Eng10, Eng11 -150-200ww
- a few 3,4,5 short quotations (2-4,
3-4 words each)
If we use long quotations in a short
paragraph, then half of the writing is just quotations.
If you are writing a 10-page paper,
you can use longer quotations.
For this class, Eng10,11,12 – stick to
several short quotations
*** This is a skill that must be practiced and
perfected
EXAMPLE\
Choose a short 2,3,4-word section from “I
Confess”
Incorporate a short quotation into
your own sentence.
e.g.
RAW QUOTATION THAT I WANT TO WORK WITH
“I had set myself strict standards”(1)
Choose important word or words or a
phrase.
“strict standards”
Incorporate the key words or phase
into my own sentence.
Mr. Wei was very tough on Wang Wei
because he wanted to hold the student to the “strict standards”(1) that he had
set.
Different colleges use different styles-
e.g MLA style, APA style, Chicago style
THE QUOTED MATERIAL IS INCORPORATED
INTO OUR WRITING
Mr. Wei was very tough on Wang Wei
because he wanted to hold the student to the “strict standards”(1) that he had
set.
Another example
“Indistinct carvings”(3)
Mr. Wei realized his error when he saw
the “Indistinct
carvings”(3) in the corner of the
desktop.
Mr. Wei realized his error when he saw
the “[i]ndistinct
carvings”(3) in the corner of the
desktop.
[ ] square brackets – use to make minor
stylistic changes
1.
Borrow a few words.
2.
Incorporate them into your sentence.
Let’s practice. Try some on your own.
Write a few sentences that have quoted text in
them.
Please email me a few of your examples. Tomorrow,
we look at the examples you came up with.
Some of your examples:
1.
Mr. Obi did not consider the negative
consequences of his “misguided zeal”(3) when he was dealing with the villagers.
2.
NOTE: In paragraph of 150-200 words, two or
three quotations is enough.
Think about a chocolate chip cookie. How many chocolate
chips are there? Enough? Not enough? Too many?
Test#3 “I Confess” and/or “Dead Man’s Path”
(final 60m)
No need to do quotations. Feel free to
try a few if you want.
150-200 word paragraph
Grabber
Topic sentence
Supporting sentences
Concluding sentence
“Who is a better role model for his students: Mr. Wei
or Mr. Obi?”
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