Wednesday, 25 May 2022

Eng 10 11- 19 class- active passive voice, writing process, grabbers

 Good morning.

We will get started at 8:30.


Summer school- Composition 11 / Lit Studies 11, 8:30-12

It will be 90% the same as this course.

The schedule is up on the website: July 4- August 5.

Summer Break – August 6 - September 6?


Today’s Agenda:

Homework deadline- 7PM

Example sentences from homework

Writing Process – ‘Prewriting and Writing for Paragraphs”

Passive/active voice

Narrative writing work- read aloud

Continue with adjective clauses

HW Prepare for Test#2- narrative writing

Active/passive voice exercises- email a few to me by 7PM


Thursday

Test #2 Narrative paragraph

Begin definition writing

Continue adjective clauses


Friday

Quiz 3- adjective clauses





1.  I still smoke cigarette even though I do recognized my craving less than before.

Correction:

I don't smoke cigarettes even though I recognize I am craving them.

crave- hungry for something, desire to eat something

I crave chocolate.

I have a craving for ice cream.


2. In order to improve your English, you need to established the vocabularies through reading.

Correction:

In order to establish your English literacy, you need to improve your vocabulary through reading.


3. I don't like to change my job unless I lay off from this job.

Correction: 

I don't like to change my job unless I got laid off. vt

I  won’t/will not change my job unless I get laid off.

I usually don’t like to change jobs unless I get laid off.


4. Even if Maria sent a lot of money for advertising nobody know about her business.

Correction:

Even if Maria will spend a lot of money for advertisement, her business is still unknown. vt

Even if Maria spends a lot of money on advertisement, her business will still not be unknown well-known/popular/successful.

He spends a lot of money on sneakers.


Although Maria spent a lot of money on advertisement, still nobody knows about her business.

Even though + still

Even though he practices piano every day, still he still isn’t as good as he would like (to be).

Even though he has lived in Vancouver for a while, still he feels it is not his home yet. ‘yet’ suggests it will change in the future

Even though he practices piano every day, he still isn’t as good as he would like (to be) yet. yet’ suggests it will change in the future


23. You can not grow crops on exhausted land until the land rebuild its life.

-> You can't grow crops on exhausted/depleted land until the land soil is restored by itself has replenished itself/has been fertilized/ been revitalized/ rejuvenated.

soil – dirt for growing crops

people- Junko feels revitalized/rejuvenated after changing jobs.

energy back, feel youthful, energetic

revitalized – vital, ‘curriculum vitae’ resume – Your life energy is back!

rejuvenated- 

refresh


resuscitate – bring back somebody who has died

DNS – Do not resuscitate order.


rejuvenated- juv- young

juveline(a)


25. You need to recognize she don’t like you even though this is not going to stop to like her.

-> You need to recognize that she doesn't like you even though it can't make you stop liking her.


18. Mike established a car for the disability people in order to he became very famous.

Mike established setup/created/build/opened/started a self-driving car company for disabled people; henceforth afterwards/therefore/as a result, he became very famous.

 

20. In order to improve your English, you need to establish the vocabularies though the reading.


23. You can not grow crops on exhausted land until the land rebuild its life.


-> You can't grow crops on exhausted land until the land is restored by itself.


25. You need to recognize she don’t like you even though this is not going to stop to like her.

-> You need to recognize that she doesn't like you even though it can't make you stop.


Plague on a building. “Est. 1958”





Active and Passive Voice


Bob surfs the internet. active voice – strong

The internet was surfed by Bob. passive voice - weak


Passive voice sounds weak

The passive voice verb is more complicated

Passive voice usually ends with a prepositional phrase


Exercises #1

1. The new chips were sold by the company. PASSIVE

The company sold the new chips. ACTIVE

The new chips are sold by the company. PASSIVE

The company sells the new chips. ACTIVE

Bike Doctor sells them.

They are sold at Bike Doctor.


I was told that the class ends on June 29th.


I broke the computer.

The computer was broken.


The car window was left open last night, and it rained.

Who did it? We don’t know.


Shari left the car window open last night, and it rained.

We know who did it.




IDIOM It was a big success! I crushed it! He killed it! You nailed it!

It was a big failure. I blew it! I messed up!




WRITING PROCESS How do we go about writing a good paragraph?


A. Prewriting -make a plan

B. Writing- execute


A. Prewriting, planning stage (~5m)

Getting your ideas together, organizing your thoughts

1. Read and understand the question. Read the question five times. Read every word. Make sure you understand what the teacher is asking you to write about.

2. Brainstorm ideas, key ideas, key words, vocabulary, get ideas flowing, explore your thoughts, take a few minutes and think, get vocab flowing, prime the pump

prime the pump – get ideas flowing, brainstorm, get some vocab flowing, synonyms and antonyms

3. Organize your ideas- TIME, SPACE, IMPORTANCE

time – telling a story, teaching how to do something

space – describing, top to bottom, side to side, zoom in or out

importance – decide which ideas are most important and which ar least important



B. Writing stage

Write the sentences.

4. Write rough copy (150-200 words)

Grabber

TS- Topic Sentence

3-4 supporting sentences

Concluding sentence

5. Proofread and edit

Focus on your most common problems:

-sp

-vf

-vt

-punc

-phrasing – translate from your mother language

6. Write a good copy. You won’t have time to write a good copy. You can pass in your corrected rough copy. As long as it is legible, it’s ok.





EXAMPLE PARAGRAPH:


What is your favourite kind of ice cream? (150-200 words)


chocolate ice cream

Vocab: delicious sweet yummy ‘melt in your mouth’ rich creamy ‘little bit of crunch’ ‘chocolate chips’ ‘hazel nuts’ ‘dark chocolate’ cold craving sweet-smelling bitterness sweet brain freeze


Grabber

Topic sentence

Supporting sentences- describe the choc ice cream

Concluding sentence



ROUGH DRAFT


Having a nice ice cream on a hot day with your friends is a sweet treat that almost everybody enjoys. Who doesn’t have a favourite flavour of ice cream? Since I became an adult, I have grown to love chocolate ice cream. I prefer chocolate ice cream that is made with dark chocolate. I like the rich and slightly bitter smell. When I bite into a cold, slightly crunchy scoop of chocolate ice cream, I love the sweet delicious taste. The creamy ice cream melts in my mouth. It is so yummy. It makes me feel happy. The texture is creamy and smooth. Eating chocolate ice cream satisfies my craving for sugar and sweetness sweet tooth. It is very refreshing. If I add chocolate chips or hazel nuts, it is even more scrumptious. I look forward to the next time I can enjoy a mouth-watering chocolate ice cream cone on a hot day with my friends.

 

A pretty good paragraph!



Grabbers/Hooks

- grabs the reader’s attention, hooks your reader

-optional attention-getting device for writing

-makes them pay attention, makes them want to read your writing


MY ADVICE: Use a grabber. It will make your writing way more interesting.


- for paragraphs, for essays 

 

Some example of grabbers

1. -general to specific statement, funnel

-say something big and general, then narrow it down to specific topic

funnel


 \   /

  ||


People often fear what they do not understand. In “The Wise Woman of Cordoba”, the protagaoist is put in jail because she is misunderstood and feared.



2. -short anecdote

short personal story, very short (1-2 short sentences)

personalizes, first person

    I was a kid, I used to be afraid of witches.

   

3. -historical reference

Throughout history, woman have usually been in less powerful positions than men.

In the Middle Ages, thousands of women and some men were hunted and persecuted for being witches.

persecuted(v) – to be treated unfairly

prosecuted(v)- taken to a court for trial


4. -fact or statistic

80%, four out of five, 2/3 of ..., 37,000,000 people...

   Living creatures cannot survive for more than a few hours if their core temperature drops and they become hypothermic. TOPIC SENTENCE


5. question (answered by thesis statement)

Do you believe in witches? Do you think that powerful woman are dangerous? Follow with TS


6. -relevant quotation by a famous person

Barack Obama once said, “Blah blah blah.”

My mother said, “Blah blah blah.”

Buddha said, “Life is suffering. We must have empathy for all living creatures.”


** PRO TIP

Books of quotations.- Have some quotations in your memory. It is very helpful to reference when you are writing.


7. -relevant idiom from any language, proverb, saying

-don’t translate well, have a lot of meaning

In Chinese, we say that a good job is like a ‘golden rice bowl.’

In Persian, we say...

There is a saying in Japanese: ‘Even monkeys fall from trees.’ It means everyone makes mistakes. It’s important to keep going after you did something wrong.


REVIEW of ways to do grabbers/hooks:

1. funnel

2. anecdote

3. historical

4. fact/statistic

5. question

6. quotation

7. idiom/saying

Choose one. it will make your paragraph or essay livelier.


MY ADVICE: Write the grabber last. You can mull it over as you are writing the rough draft.





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