E11 ... [] for quotations

... ellipsis- show that words have been omitted

...... etc. "I like dogs, cats, fish ......"
NOT ENGLISH

Wong Bak had a "wide nose... [and] bushy eyebrows" (25) which made him look unusual.

[ ] square brackets- added to the quotation for grammar

"XXX... YYY"
The old man "slurped his soup...[and] smiled" (26) to himself as he remembered his past.

The old man ate his supper and "smiled" (26) to himself as he remembered his past. 

SHORT IS GOOD

LESS IS MORE-

Jook Liang loved Wong Bak's "soft eyes" (23) and believed he was the "Monkey King" that Poh Poh had told her about.

"bulge out" (17)
Jook Liang's eyes "bulge[d] out" (17) when she first saw the elderly visitor come in to the living room.
Jook Liang felt her eyes "bulge out" (17) when she first saw the elderly visitor come in to the living room.

MANIPULATE SENTENCES- sentence styles

Because he was so frail, Wong Bak's "voice trembled" (19) when he talked to Jook Liang.