Wednesday, 3 November 2021

EF56 business writing, coordination/subordination, sentence combining

 

English Foundations 5/6

Good morning, everyone.

We will get started at 8:30

 

Hump Day –  Wednesday

 

 

Today’s agenda

·      Continue letter writing, business letter

·      Sentence combining – coordination and subordination

·      Optional replacement test on “Wise Woman of Corboba” for the people who signed up for it

·      HW

 

 

Thursday

·      Sentence combining

·      Final test   Choice:

- Paragraph on a general topic, not a short story

- Business letter on a topic I will give you

 

 

Friday

·      Review

·      Marks day

·      I can give you your final mark.

 

 

 

 

Continue business writing

Business letters – practical writing skills, practical writing for work, living in Canada, everyday useful writing,

-official writing, more formal, not casual writing

 

Reasons to write Business-style letters:

(Even emails can benefit from using the more formal style of a business letter –sets a professional, serious, mature tone)

e.g. Student emails to teachers.-

“What!!!????”

“what day the class end”

“im gonna miss class today what u gonna do in class?”

Very unprofessional looking.

We can do better.

A more professional and more formal tone and structure is advised.

-polite, not too casual

 

REASONS TO WRITE A BUSINESS-TYPE LETTER

1. interdepartmental letters (within a company)

2. cover letter for a resume (special style)

3. application letters to colleges and universities

In the Spring, many of our Grade 12 students are frantic about getting applications in to colleges and universities. The letters that they write are very important. I remember spending about two hours cowriting a letter with an E12 student.

 

4. letter to a government agency, Canadian government or another country (e.g. Canada Revenue Agency, immigration, Canada Pension, City Hall)

NOTE: Communicating with Canada Revenue Agency (CRA) is really difficult.

 

5. employer (e.g. promotion, transfer, raise, personal leave, quit)

6. business person

7. court (e.g. jury duty)

8. lawyer

9. writing to your child’ teacher

10. report to a supervisor

11. incident report (e.g to police or ICBC)

 

Have you ever had to write a letter like that?

 

FORMAL, not casual and personal like a personal letter

Formal – organized (structure), official, appropriate tone, appropriate language, unemotional, a little bit of emotion can be effectice (less is more)

 

·     Distribute “Business Correspondence” p.c.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WRITE YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS

AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE

 

Mei (Sarah) Zhou

Mei “Sarah” Zhou

GIVEN NAME  FAMILY NAME

Zhou, Mei “Sarah”

FAMILY NAME, GIVEN NAME – I would not do it this way in a letter

 

666 Your Street

Vancouver, BC

V5P 2B6

 

June 21, 2021

 

THE NAME, TITLE AND ADDRESS OF THE PERSON YOU ARE WRITING TO

Mary Williamsonson

Director, Shaw Communications

123 Cordova Street

Vancouver, BC

V5R 2D2

 

Re/RE: Client/Reference/Case/Account/Purchase #4722859   (Re-regarding)

 

OPEN YOUR LETTER WITH A GREETING, SALUTATION

 

CHOOSING THE TITLE CAN BE TRICKY: Mr? Mrs? Ms?

Robin Smith

Hui Yu Chen

 

Singh Kaur

 

Dear Grandma,        comma for a personal letter ,

                                    comma- friendly, casual, not formal

 

Sarah Chen               colon for a business letter :

                                    more formal, not friendly, business :

 

Dear Mr. Chen:

Dear Mrs. Smith:

Dear Ms. Smith:

Dear Miss Smith:

Dear Mme Benoit:

Dear Sir or Madam:

 

Use a colon for a business letter, professional, formal, business, not friendly or personal

 

GREETING

To Mr. Pacquiao: sounds cold, very formal

To Sarah Chen:

To my dearest Mme Benoit: TOO MUCH

 

e.g. student emails

To my dear teacher: TOO PERSONAL

 

Dear Maria,     A BIT MORE RELAXED

Hi Al,     QUITE INFORMAL AND RELAXED, FRIENDLY

Hello Al,        SLIGHTLY MORE FORMAL, BUT STILL FRIENDLY

 

Dear Sarah:   colon is formal, first name is casual

Dear Sarah,    SEEMS LIKE A BETTER CHOICE

 

 

Hello Justin,

You’re doing a good job as Prime Minister of Canada.

WAY TOO INFORMAL

 

To the Right Honourable Prime Minister of Canada, Justin Trudeau:

 

To Her Excellency, President Janice Alloud:

To His Excellency, AAA BBB:

 

To Her Excellency, Governor General of Canada, Mary Simon:

 

Research what title the person might have.

 

 

Health Insurance BC
PO Box 9035 Stn Prov Govt
Victoria, B.C. V8W 9E3

 

Dear MSP,

To whom it may concern,

To who it concerns,

To someone who can concern,

Dear Sir or Madam,  :  Choose one ,  OR :

 

 

NOT AS GOOD- impersonal, sometimes necesasary, for example when you are writing to the government

 

Dear Sir or Madam,

To whom it may concern, (reference letter)

 

ADVICE: It is always better to get the name of the person who you are writing to. Call and find out. Ask, “Who can I address me letter to?”

 

 

Hi there,  VERY CASUAL

Hi all,  VERY CASUAL

Hi everybody,  VERY CASUAL

 

 

Dear Sir:

Dear Madam,

Dear Sir Chan,

Dear Madam Smith,

Dear Teacher Jones,

Dear Teacher,

My Dear Teacher,

Dear Sir Teacher Jones,

too submissive

 

honorifics, titles – Mr, Mrs, Ms, Miss, Professor, Doctor, teacher, President, Dean, Prime Minister, Vice-President, Chancellor, Father, Captain, Lieutenant, Sergeant, Corporal, Officer, manager, Sheriff, Mayor, MP, MLA, Principal, Senator, Queen, King, Prince, Princess, Emporer

 

Dear Professor Mahed,

Dear Teacher Jones, XXX

Teacher Haley polite translation

To Mayor Kennedy Stewart:

 

In class – Sir, Madam – very polite

 

 

 

BUSINESS WRITING – DON’T INDENT THE PARAGRAPHS

                                    - SINGLE-SPACE YOUR WRITING

 

e.g. SCHOOL WRITING

 

Thank you for meeting with me yesterday to discuss the job opportunity. I am very eager to speak further with you about this. Please let me know what day and time you will be available to meet.

BUSINESS WRITING

Thank you for meeting with me yesterday to discuss the job opportunity. I am very eager to speak further with you about this. Please let me know what day and time you will be available to meet.

 

I would like to setup an interview with you in the next few weeks. I can be available any workday betwee 10 and 3.

 

SKIP A LINE BETWEEN PARAGRAPHS

 

*Business writing uses a different format than school writing.*

 

 

** ENDINGS FOR BUSINESS LETTERS

 

Yours truly,

Yours,

Sincerely,

Yours sincerely,

Best regards,

Regards, (cold sounding, more formal sounding)

Respectfully, (talking to someone higher in the business than you)

Kind regards,

Thank you,

MY FAVOURITE: Best,

 

PERSONAL

Sincerely yours,

Yours sincerely,

Faithfully,

Cheers,  VERY CASUAL, Also a friendly way to end a conversation

 

TALKING

Australian speech:  Thanks. No worries.

American speech: Thanks. Uh huh.

Casual speech: Thanks. Sure. No problem.

More polite: Thank you. You’re welcome. Certainly. My pleasure. Happy to.

 

CASUAL-FUN

See you later. Not if I see you first.

Keep your stick on the ice.

Check you later.

 

See you soon, I hope. Take care.

Keep in touch.

Don’t be a stranger.

 

OLD-FASHIONED, BUT SOUNDS NICE, PERSONAL LETTERS, NOT FOR BUSINESS

I remain,

 

 

I use the same format for important emails.

 

 

The magic words: Please. Thank you.

 

 

 

 

 

Sentence writing:

two ways to approach sentence-

coordination

subordination

 

 

* coordination- ‘co’ together coworker, cooperate, co-learner, cohabitate

coordinate  - on the same level

coordinating clauses- two clauses on the same level, same importance

 

CLAUSE A    CLAUSE B

Mary likes hiking, but Joe likes swimming.

 

compound sentences , SOBA   ;   ; however,

 

NOTE: Don’t try to coordinate three clauses. Two is enough.

e.g. Mary likes hiking, but Joe likes swimming, and Dave likes cycling.

Strung together clauses- not a nice style

 

Two (2) is our max usually.

Mary likes hiking, but Joe likes swimming. As well, Dave likes cycling.

 

 

* subordination

sub- under subway, substitute, subconcious, sublime?

subordinating clauses – two clauses, one is more important than the other

Joe drove his car today. It is raining.

Joe drove his car today because it is raining.

 

DIFFERENT STYLE, DIFFERENT INTENTION

Joe drove his car today. It is raining.

It is raining, so Joe drove his car today.

Joe drove his car today because it is raining.

 

SUBTLE DIFFERENCES- STYLISTIC DIFFERENCES,not grammatical differences

This is the next level of writing.

 

Sarah is a nurse. She lives in Prince George.

Sarah is a nurse and lives in Prince George.

 

Sarah is a nurse, and she lives in Prince George.

Sarah who is a nurse lives in Prince George. who is a nurse- less important information because it is in a subordinate clause

 

Sarah who lives in Prince George is a nurse. who lives in Prince George - less important information because it is in a subordinate clause

 

* The more sophisticated/skilled you become in your writing, you more you will want to make decisions about which sentence style will work best for each sentence.

 

Writing is hard! The more you learn, you more you realize how much you don’t know.

 

Sentence combining- very effective to improve sentence writing

- take several short sentences and combine the key parts of the sentences into one longer, dense sentence.

 

Cooking Class

1.    The cooking class is a break.  KERNEL- centre, everything will be based on this

 

Find new information in the following sentences:

The break is welcome.

The break is from hours of English.

The break is from hours of Math.

The hours are concentrated.

 

Combine these elements into one sentence:

The cooking class is a break

welcome

from hours of English

Math

concentrated

 

Choose a sentence style that seems appropriate. gut reaction, feeling

SIMPLE? COMPOUND? COMPLEX?

 

SIMPLE The cooking class is a welcome break from concentrated

hours of English and Math.

Homework:

Try a few of these. You don’t have to do them all. Combine as mush as you can; if you can’t get all of the information in, that’s ok.

Email some to me if you want. We can go over them tomorrow.

 

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