Eng 7/10/11 Sentence combining

sentence combining- technique for improving sentences

progressives - two prescription in one lens


William Strong- professor, US
ways to teach his students - better writing, more sophisticated, fancier, academic level

grammar


take several sentences- find the most important parts in each, combine them into one

AVOID repetition, sprawl

GOAL compact, concise sentences



Friday Night

1. The teenagers meet after school. KERNEL
They meet at the river.
They meet for a barbecue.
They meet for a party.

 KERNEL - the main sentence that we add to

The teenagers meet after school.

preposition article noun - prepositional phrases
at the river.
for a barbecue.
for a party.

same style - parallelism

The teenagers meet after school.

at the river
for a barbecue
for a party

The teenagers meet at the river after school for a barbecue party. SIMPLE

After school, the teenagers meet at the river for a barbecue party. SIMPLE

The teenagers meet at the river after school, and they have a barbecue party. COMPOUND

The teenagers meet at the river after school who have a barbecue party. XXX COMPLEX - ADJ CL

The teenagers who have a barbecue party meet at the river after school. EMPHASIS IS ON "meet"

The teenagers who meet at the river after school have a barbecue party. EMPHASIS IS ON "have"

CHOICE!!

SIMPLE, COMPOUND, COMPLEX SENTENCES- 

2. Some older people who have cars park on the beach to that they can turn up their radios.

Some of the people who are older bring cars; they park on the beach and turn up their radios.

Some of the older people with cars want to turn up their radios, so they park on the beach.

CHOICE - CHOOSE THE STYLE YOU LIKE

3. Others bring portable tape decks; others bring tapes that supply hours of music. COMPOUND

Others bring portable tape decks; also, others bring tapes that supply hours of music.

Others bring portable tape decks while others bring tapes that supply hours of music. BETTER

Others bring portable tape decks and tapes to supply hours of music.

Others supply hours of music by bringing portable tape decks and tapes.

Others supply hours of music, bringing portable tape decks and tapes. XXX

Others bring portable tape decks and tapes, supplying hours of music. !!

CHOICE-

Writing is painful, difficult, and frustrating.

4. Everyone brings enough food to feed twice the number present, but there will be none left.

Everyone brings enough food to feed twice the number present, so there will be none left. XXX

Everyone brings enough food to feed twice the number present; nevertheless, there will be none left. COMPOUND

There will be no food left although everyone brings enough to feed twice the number present.  !!

5. For this time of year, it is a typical Friday night for these kids in this town. SIMPLE

It is a typical Friday night for these kids in this town for this time of year. SIMPLE

STYLE

It is a typical Friday, which is for these kids in this town for this time of year. DOES IT SOUND GOOD? IS IT WHAT YOU WANT?

6. All the people who enjoy the temporary freedom are free to be together, to eat, and to listen to music without direction from parents, teachers or employers. 

All enjoy the temporary freedom to be together,  eat, and listen to music without direction from parents, teachers or employers. CONDENSED

All enjoy the temporary freedom to be together,  eating and listening to music without direction from parents, teachers and employers. DIFFERENT STYLE

She walked down the street and sang to herself.

She walked down the street, singing to herself.

DIFFERENT STYLES - STRETCHING A BIT