water skiing
bobbed (v) floated gently up and down
fishing- bobber
outboard motor-
75-horse- horse power, how strong an engine is
1.Ike vividly remembers his first experience water skiing
Ike vividly remembers his first water skiing experience
with his uncle who lives on the Lake of the Woods, and he remembers it vividly.
AVOID REPETITION, KEEP THE SENTENCES DENSE
2. Ike bobbed up and down in the cold water and tried to keep his oversized skis pointed at the boat while his life jacket was floating him high out of the water. COMPLEX
Ike bobbed up and down in the cold water and tried to keep his oversized skis pointed at the boat; at the same time, his life jacket was floating him high out of the water. COMPOUND
SIMPLE COMPOUND COMPLEX
3. The 75-horse outboard screamed alive and pulled Ike forward out of the water. SIMPLE
The 75-horse outboard screamed alive, pulling Ike forward out of the water.
4. He felt a sense of flying for a moment; then he fell forward and came out of his skis; he was pulled along bouncing on his stomach.
dhdhdhd; djdjdjjd; jdjdjjd.
First, he felt a sense of flying for a moment; then he fell forward and came out of his skis and was pulled along bouncing on his stomach.
He felt a sense of flying for a moment before he fell forward and came out of his skis; then he was pulled along bouncing on his stomach. COMPOUND COMPLEX
He felt a sense of flying for a moment before falling forward and coming out of his skis; then he was pulled along bouncing on his stomach. VERY NATURAL SOUNDING
He was pulled along and bouncing on his stomach. X 'pulled' is passive voice, 'bouncing' is active THEY ARE PARALLEL
He was pulled along and was bouncing on his stomach.
He was pulled along bouncing on his stomach.
GERUND
He walked down the street smiling and laughing. NATURAL PHRASING
COMMAS ARE VERY PERSONAL.
SIMPLE COMPOUND COMPLEX
DEVELOP YOUR OWN STYLE AS YOU PROGRESS. DEVELOP OUR OWN STYLE AS WE PROGRESS
5. He didn't know why he held on NOUN CLAUSE
He didn't know why he held on and swallowed what seemed like gallons of water; he found himself unable to breathe. X NOT BEAUTIFUL
He didn't know why he held on as he swallowed what seemed like gallons of water and found himself unable to breathe.
6. He let go when he went under; then he came to the surface wondering why people thought that this was fun. GERUND STYLE
7. He tried again and tried later.... REP
When he tried again later, he stayed up for a minute; then he knew that he was hooked on this sport.
Later, when he tried again, he stayed up for a minute; then he knew that he was hooked on this sport.
Later, when he tried again and stayed up for a minute, he knew that he was hooked on this sport.
COMPLEX
CHOICE- SIMPLE COMPOUND COMPLEX
SMALL EDITING BUSINESS- COLLEGE STUDENTS CAN'T DO THIS
TA- teaching assistant for English, math
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