Wednesday, 16 September 2015

EF7/ E10 "Backstage" sentence combining

Kai plays soccer. KERNEL
He plays well.
He scored a goal.

Kai plays soccer, and he plays well, and he scored a goal.
REPETITIVE, POOR QUALITY WRITING, NOT ELEGANT
Kai plays soccer well and scored a goal. SIMPLE
Kai plays soccer well, and he scored a goal. COMPOUND
Kai plays soccer well; in fact, he scored a goal. COMPOUND
Kai, who plays soccer well, scored a goal. COMPLEX- ADJ CL
Kia scored a goal because he plays soccer well. COMPLEX- ADV CL
Kai, who plays soccer well, was happy that he scored a goal. COMPLEX- N CL

VARIETY OF SENTENCES

Backstage
1.     We were preparing, and the preparation... AVOID REP
We were preparing for the performance which was our second UNNATURAL
We were preparing for the second performance of our play, so the dressing room was in a state. COMPOUND
We were preparing for the second performance of our play; therefore, the dressing room was in a state.
The dressing room was in a state because we were preparing for the second performance of our play. ADV CL
The dressing room was in a state due to our preparation for the second performance of our play.
I was late because it was snowing.
I was late due to the snow.


2.      
Racks were scattered, and the racks were for costumes. POOR QUALITY
Rack for costumes were scattered POSSIBLE
Costume racks and makeup trays were scattered around the room. SIMPLE
3.     Nearly everyone was nervous as helpers were dressing cast members and applying their makeup.
4.     The female lead could not do something.
She could not get her wig to stay on properly.
The female lead could get her wig to stay on properly, and the male lead was having a tug-of-war with a pair of uncooperative suspenders that would not cooperate.

The female lead could get her wig to stay on properly; meanwhile, the male lead was having a tug-of-war with a pair of uncooperative suspenders.

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