Body Defenses

A remarkable series of efficient defenses safeguard our bodies.

Our bodies are safeguarded by a remarkably efficient series of defenses.

These defenses are like an ever-alert army that form chemical lines to ward off invaders.

These defenses, which are like an ever-alert army, ward off invaders by forming chemical lines.

Suppose some germ-laden dust gets into your eye.

Suppose, as an example, that some dust that is laden with germs gets into your eye.

For example, suppose that dust laden with germs gets into your eye.

There is probably nothing to worry about as the eye’s surface is quickly bathed with abundant tears.

These tears help to wash away the dust but also serve another important purpose.

These tears help to serve another important purpose besides washing away the dust.

Tears contain a very powerful antiseptic called lysozyme that destroys most bacteria that threaten the eye’s surface.

Tears contain lysozyme, a very powerful antiseptic that destroys most bacteria that is threatening to the eye’s surface.

Tears contain lysozyme, a very powerful antiseptic that destroys most bacteria threatening to the eye’s surface.

Lysozyme dramatizes how the body “overprotects” itself for self-defense and survival.

Lysozyme dramatizes the body's “overprotection” as self-defense for survival.

The lysozyme in teardrops diluted in a half-gallon of water will still destroy potentially dangerous germs.

If / Even if teardrops are diluted in half a gallon of water, the lisozyme will still destroy potentially dangerous germs.

Hi.  I think this construction caused some confusion today.  Let me give three examples:

The woman danced, smiled and laughed.
The woman danced while smiling and laughing.
The woman danced, smiling and laughing.

Which one do you like most?  Which one would you be most likely to use in your own writing?

The shack, which had roof boards which were crackling with fire and buckled walls, shuddered and collapsed with a roar.

The shack, its roof boards crackling with fire, collapsed with a roar when its/the walls buckled.

The train engine lumbered forward, its wheels glinting in the sun as they squeaked and strained under their load.

Grandpa listened to the news with his head cocked to one side; frowning and chewing his lip, he clicked off the radio, sighed and swore.

While frowning and chewing his lip, Grandpa listened to the news with his head cocked to one side; then he clicked off the radio, sighing and swearing.

Frowning and chewing his lip, Grandpa listened to the news with his head cocked to one side; then he clicked off the radio, sighing and swearing.

The batter tensed and dug his toe in the dust as he watched the pitch; then he squeezed the bat handle and swung with his weight as hard as he could.

After digging his toe in the dust, the tensed batter watched the pitch.

Mayor Glump can support the motion that deals with subsistence aid to the elderly, but as this would reverse his political stand against “handouts”, he can risk almost certain defeat at the election by voters who would be greatly distressed.

Mayor Glump can support the motion that deals with subsistence aid to the elderly; however, he can risk almost certain defeat at the election by voters who would be greatly distressed by this reversal of his political stand against “handouts”.

The children shrieked and whooped as they raced across the field, their shirttails flying and arms flailing; when they hit the water, they pelted each other with handfuls of mud.

Racing across the field, the children shrieked and whooped with flying shirttails and flailing arms; they hit the water and pelted each other with handfuls of mud.

Cosby answer

1.   What comment does Bill Cosby make about the “reward for being a parent”? (99)  Is this humorous or serious?  Why do you think so?

Bill Cosby says the “reward for being a parent” is to have adult children return to live in the family home long after they have become adults.  Of course, Cosby is speaking ironically when he says this.  He is commenting on the increasingly common situation of adult children returning to live with their parents due to financial difficulties.  Cosby is playing off the assumption that his retirement years would be ones of rest and relaxation, not a time to take on the responsibilities of housing and possibly supporting adult children and their families.  In this case, the “reward” is a burden to be borne.

Multiculturalism

There is a growing recognition within Canadian society regarding cultural diversity.

Sensitive thoughtful involved citizens promote this movement which has far-reaching political and social ends that include changes in attitudes in education, law and media toward minorities. (How to get ‘favourable’ in there?)

This movement has far-reaching social and political ends which are promoted by sensitive thoughtful involved citizens who seek favourable changes in attitude toward minorities in education, law and media.

The idea is similar to movements in other countries which centre on issues of human understanding, pluralism, and equal rights.

The idea is similar to movements in other countries in that they centre on issues of human understanding, pluralism, and equal rights.

Multiculturalists do not view society as “a melting pot” but rather as “a tossed salad”: the ingredients, which are people, retain their own special identities and make unique contributions to enhance the overall flavour of the society.

Multiculturalists do not view society as “a melting pot” but rather as “a tossed salad” in which the people who make up the ingredients retain their own special identities and make unique contributions that enhance the overall flavour of the society.

Multiculturalism influences lifestyle and works to maintain a cultural Canadian mosaic.

Link to A-Word-A-Day: http://wordsmith.org/awad/
Link to lower level word-a-day: http://www.eslmonkeys.com/student/wordoftheday.php
Link to Washington Post Crossword: http://www.washingtonpost.com/2012/04/12/gIQA8XbgDT_page.html

Rollercoaster Sent Comb

1-3

The roller coaster, which made its appearance in 1884, is still one of the most exciting rides in an amusement park.

The roller coaster has stayed/been/continued to be/remained one of the most exciting rides in an amusement park since it made its appearance in 1884.

Although/Even though/Though the roller coaster made its first appearance in an amusement park in 1884, it is still one of the most exciting rides.

4-8

Although the newer fancier rides like the log flumes and the screaming demons fail to draw the crowds, they line up to ride the roller coaster.

The newer fancier rides like the log flumes and the screaming demons fail to draw the crowds who line up to ride the roller coaster.

Even the newer fancier rides like the log flumes and screaming demons fail to draw the crowds that line up to ride the roller coasters.

10-12

Both young and old seem to enjoy this traditional favourite. (active voice)

This traditional favourite seems to be enjoyed by young and old. (passive voice- weak)

13-23

Its open cars and steep inclines combine the simplicity of a railroad with the sudden stomach-turning plunges of an Alpine ski jump and the swirl of a winding bobsled run.

24-29

As the passengers who have waited in line for over an hour ready themselves for the first hill, the coaster starts like a train pulling slowly away from a station.

The passengers who have waited in line for over an hour ready themselves for the first hill as the coaster starts pulling slowly away from a train from the station.

30-32

The cars jerk hesitantly as the coaster climbs to the summit, wheels clicking every inch of the way.

33-37

The passengers are poised at the peak, bracing themselves for the exhilarating downhill plunge they have been waiting for.

38-40

The diving cars whip them into a frenzy of screaming laughter.

The cars dive, whipping them into a frenzy of screams and laughter.

41-47

The coaster sweeps through the first valley and races on to the other dips and turns in a flow of continuous motion that leaves the thrillseekers hanging in midair, their white knuckles gripping the retaining bar.

The coaster sweeps through the first valley and races on to the other dips and turns in a flow of continuous motion that leaves the thrillseekers hanging in midair, their white knuckles gripping the retaining bar.

Sweeping through the first valley, the rollercoaster races on to the other dips and turns in a flow of continuous motion, leaving the white-knuckled thrillseekers gripping the retaining bar as they hang in midair.

After sweeping through the first valley, the rollercoaster races on to the other dips and turns in a flow of continuous motion that leaves the white-knuckled thrillseekers gripping the retaining bar as they hang in midair.