Rollercoaster Sent Comb

1-3

The roller coaster, which made its appearance in 1884, is still one of the most exciting rides in an amusement park.

The roller coaster has stayed/been/continued to be/remained one of the most exciting rides in an amusement park since it made its appearance in 1884.

Although/Even though/Though the roller coaster made its first appearance in an amusement park in 1884, it is still one of the most exciting rides.

4-8

Although the newer fancier rides like the log flumes and the screaming demons fail to draw the crowds, they line up to ride the roller coaster.

The newer fancier rides like the log flumes and the screaming demons fail to draw the crowds who line up to ride the roller coaster.

Even the newer fancier rides like the log flumes and screaming demons fail to draw the crowds that line up to ride the roller coasters.

10-12

Both young and old seem to enjoy this traditional favourite. (active voice)

This traditional favourite seems to be enjoyed by young and old. (passive voice- weak)

13-23

Its open cars and steep inclines combine the simplicity of a railroad with the sudden stomach-turning plunges of an Alpine ski jump and the swirl of a winding bobsled run.

24-29

As the passengers who have waited in line for over an hour ready themselves for the first hill, the coaster starts like a train pulling slowly away from a station.

The passengers who have waited in line for over an hour ready themselves for the first hill as the coaster starts pulling slowly away from a train from the station.

30-32

The cars jerk hesitantly as the coaster climbs to the summit, wheels clicking every inch of the way.

33-37

The passengers are poised at the peak, bracing themselves for the exhilarating downhill plunge they have been waiting for.

38-40

The diving cars whip them into a frenzy of screaming laughter.

The cars dive, whipping them into a frenzy of screams and laughter.

41-47

The coaster sweeps through the first valley and races on to the other dips and turns in a flow of continuous motion that leaves the thrillseekers hanging in midair, their white knuckles gripping the retaining bar.

The coaster sweeps through the first valley and races on to the other dips and turns in a flow of continuous motion that leaves the thrillseekers hanging in midair, their white knuckles gripping the retaining bar.

Sweeping through the first valley, the rollercoaster races on to the other dips and turns in a flow of continuous motion, leaving the white-knuckled thrillseekers gripping the retaining bar as they hang in midair.

After sweeping through the first valley, the rollercoaster races on to the other dips and turns in a flow of continuous motion that leaves the white-knuckled thrillseekers gripping the retaining bar as they hang in midair.