EF6 Big Game Hunting

1. Joshua, who is eleven years old, works
Joshua, an eleven-year-old, works
Joshua is an eleven-year-old who works
Joshua is eleven years old and works

hyphen - noun modifies a noun, NO s

a big tall boy
a six-foot boy

2. His father owns a ranch that caters to people; in fact,the people like 
His father owns a ranch that caters to people who like

SIMPLE IS GOOD,  SIMPLE IS NOT EASY

3.  overnight hunting trip
a three-day hunting trip
The hunting trip lasted three days.

5.  He must take care of the horses and the gear and supervise the food; also, he must ensure the safety of his clients and make sure that they shoot, catch or photograph whatever they seek.

EF6 Giver ""

What was Jonas' dream?

PROCESS

Ch5
"felt slightly embarrased"
tub, warm
bath
Fiona luaghing
Jonas "little angry at her" (35)
"take off her clothes" (36)
memoery was "murky and vague"
"feelings were clear" strong
NARRATIVE- TIME

ROUGH COPY           Jonas' dream was about Fiona.  He felt "slightly embarased" telling the dream to his family about how he dreamed anbout hving a bath with Fiona.  He told them how |he was a "little angry"that F|iona was laughin at him becuase he wanted to "take off her clothes".  As he told the sstory to his pparents and little sister, he remebered the emotions more than the "murky and vauge deatils".  In tte end. the sory showed his parents that he needed to sat taking the pill.

EDITED COPY      Jonas' dream was about Fiona.  He felt "slightly embarrassed" (36) telling his family about how he dreamed about having a bath with Fiona.  He told them how he was a "little angry" (35) that Fiona was laughing at him because he wanted to "take off her clothes" (36).  As he told the story to his parents and little sister, he remembered the emotions that he felt more than the "murky and vague details".  In the end. the story showed his parents that he needed to start taking the pill.

EF6 Quotations

When Jonas saw the airplane flying over his community, he felt a "deep, sickening feeling" (1) because he knew that there was going to be trouble.  LESS IS MORE

When Jonas saw the airplane flying over his community, he felt a "deep, sick feeling" because he knew that there was going to be trouble. NOT A QUOTATION

Jonas "felt miserable" (37) after he was skipped over at the Ceremony of Twelve.


... ellipsis
When Asher was apologizing to the class for his lateness, he was "standing to make his public apology as was required." (3)
When Asher was apologizing to the class for his lateness, he was "standing... as was required." (3)

***

SOURCE OF CONFUSION

I like cats, dogs, fish... NOT ENGLISH

I like cats, dogs, fish, etc. ENGLISH, LATIN et cetera and others

***

When children were given their jobs, it was a "secret selection, made by the leaders of the community, the Committee of Elders". (15)
When children were given their jobs, it was a "secret selection, made by... the Committee of Elders". (15) HAS TO GRAMMATICAL

When children were given their jobs, it was a "secret selection... the Committee of Elders". (15) NOT GRAMMATICAL

When children were given their jobs, it was a "secret selection... [of] the Committee of Elders". (15)

[] square brackets- adding a word for that the quotation is grammatical

BASIC TOOLS
" "
... ellipsis
[] square brackets

"unsteady legs" (11)
The little kids at the Ceremony of One were walking on "unsteady legs" (11) as the people watched.


After the ceremony, "all of [Jonas' friends] felt happy" (14) because they got good assignments. 

After the ceremony, Jonas' friends "felt happy" (14) because they got good assignments.

KISS Keep it simple, silly.

Asher showed "after the party that [Jonas]... took the [diploma] to the ... Giver's...house" (16) NO GOOD, A MESS

EF6 Rock Concert sentence combining

KERNEL
1.  The heavy-metal band pounds out loud, steady, hard rock and roll music.
The heavy-metal band loudly and steadily pounds out hard rock and roll music.
2.  The young audience is captivated.
The audience is captivated (a) and young.  UNNATURAL
They captivated (v) the young audience.
3.  The spectators wave their arms which is in rhythm OVERWRITTEN and sing every word with the band.
The spectators wave their arms in rhythm and sing every word with the band.
4.  The stadium loses power.  When everything goes black, the crowd responds with excited cheers.
When/ Even though the stadium loses power and everything goes black, the crowd responds with excited cheers/cheering.
The crowd responds with excitement and cheers.
The crowd responds excitedly with cheers.

WORD FORMS

SENTENCE VARIETY

EF6 Using quotations

“” quotation marks, citation, citing

evidence, proof- support your points

People in the town believe that the Wise Woman was “married to the devil.”

People in the town believe that the Wise Woman and the devil were a couple/ wife and husband. RESTATE TEXT- NO “”

The witch could grant any seemingly “impossible favour” that a townperson might ask of her. GRAMMATICAL

The witch could help any townsperson “impossible favour”. NOT GRAMMATICAL

When the witch was locked in the jail, she drew an “enormous ship” on the wall.

QUOTE ONLY A FEW WORDS, 4-5 WORDS

INCORPORATE

The Wise Woman was well known. “very beautiful woman”

The Wise Woman was well known as a “very beautiful woman”.

The Wise Woman, who was “very beautiful”, was well known as a magic person.

The “Wise Woman” was “a very beautiful woman” who “helped those in difficulty”.  In fact, she “fulfilled nonetheless their wishes”.  Actually, she “was clearly a witch.” NO GOOD

The Wise Woman was a “very beautiful woman”.  People really liked this “very beautiful woman.”  The young men also liked her because she was “a very beautiful woman.”

EF6 practice persuasive paragraph

Topic sentence: topic, controlling idea

Rollo was not justified in killing Mike for several reasons.

In the story "Trial in the Bank Saloon", the main character, Rollo Moon, did not have good enough reason/ sufficient cause/ reasonable grounds to stab to death the bartender, Mike Lynch.

First, Firstly, First of all, To begin, To begin with, Initially, the act was illegal.  Everybody needs to respect the law of the land and act as law-abiding citizens.

Secondly, Next, In the second place, Rollo didn't have enough evidence that Mike had cheated him.  Therefore, Rollo shouldn't have done that to Mike.

Finally, Most importantly, Moreover, people in a civilized society should not take the law into their own hands.  They must leave judgement and punishment up to the police and the legal system/ law, court, judges to decide.

CONCLUDING SENTENCE- RESTATE TOPIC SENTENCE
In conclusion/ Therefore/ In the end/ To sum up/ As a result/ Based on the example above/ To conclude/  You will agree that.../ Obviously/ Rollo should not have killed Mike.
Rollo should have walked away from Mike and alerted the authorities rather than acting in such an impulsive and violent way.




GOOD COPY

      In the story "Trial in the Bank Saloon", the main character, Rollo Moon, did not have good reasonable grounds to stab to death the bartender, Mike Lynch. To begin with, the act was illegal.  Everybody needs to respect the law of the land and act as law-abiding citizens.  In the second place, Rollo didn't have enough evidence that Mike had cheated him.  Therefore, Rollo shouldn't have done that to Mike.  Most importantly, people in a civilized society should not take the law into their own hands.  They must leave judgement and punishment up to the police and the legal system to decide.  In conclusion, Rollo should not have killed Mike.  Rollo should have walked away from Mike and alerted the authorities rather than acting in such an impulsive and violent way.

EF6 Backstage sentence combining

1. kernel  We were preparing for our play's second performance.
We were preparing for our the second performance of our play while / ,so the dressing room was in a state.

We were preparing for our play's second performance, so the dressing...

We were preparing for our the second performance of our play; therefore / for this reason, the dressing room was in a state.

2. Racks for costumes were scattered
Costume racks were scattered, and trays were scattered... REP
Both costume racks and makeup trays were scattered around the room. SIMPLE
Around the room were scattered costume racks and makeup trays.

3. Helpers were dressing cast members and applying their makeup; nearly everyone was nervous. 
Nearly everyone was nervous as helpers were dressing cast members and applying their makeup.

4. The female lead could not do something get her wig to stay on properly; also, the male lead was having a tug-of-war with a pair of suspenders that would not cooperate.

The female lead could not do something get her wig to stay on properly; at the same time / meanwhile, the male lead was having a tug-of-war with an uncooperative (adj) pair of suspenders.


SENTENCE VARIETY- SIMPLE, COMPOUND, COMPLEX, COMPOUND-COMPLEX

EF6 Sent Comb Sheet 1

1.
2. The object has many flat sides and appears rounded with a diameter of 1/8 inch. SIMPLE
The object has many flat sides with a diameter of about 1/8 inch, but it appears rounded. COMPOUND
The object appears rounded with a diameter of about 1/8 inch, but it has many flat sides.  COMPOUND
The on object has many flat sides, but it appears rounded with a diameter that is about 1/8 inch.  COMPOUND COMPLEX
3. It comes in many colours outside and inside, but usually the outside is yellow and the inside is grayish black. COMPOUND
4. There is often writing and numbers, which are often/such as a two or a three, along the outside of the object. COMPLEX
There is often writing and numbers along the outside of the object which is often a 2 or a 3. MISPLACED MODIFIER
5. The top of the object is made of rubber and also has an aluminum band around it while the bottom part comes to a sharp point. COMPLEX
6. The body of the object appears to be made of wood, but the inside of the object is actually made of lead. COMPOUND
The body of the object appears to be made of wood while the inside of the object is actually made of lead. COMPLEX
The body of the object, the inside of which is made of lead, appears to be made of wood. COMPLEX
7. The longer you use the object, the shorter and duller it gets. COMPLEX
The shorter and duller the object gets, the longer you use it. COMPLEX
8. The object is often used by students, artists and office workers. SIMPLE
Students, artists and office workers often use the object. SIMPLE

GOOD VARIETY OF SENTENCE STYLES AND TYPES:

SIMPLE, COMPOUND, COMPLEX, COMPOUND-COMPLEX


PROOFREADING

"there" "where people sit on stools at the counter and eat"
"beautiful shiny grey marble" NO COMMAS
"; plates"
"are stored"
"Plates of cake are covered with glass and rest on top beside jars of candy."

"Plates of cake (which are covered) with glass rest on top beside jars of candy."

"at the back" "in back" PREPOSITION USAGE
"the counter"
"a variety"
"This adds to the cheerful..."
The mirror reflects the candy jars and glasses, adding to the cheerful...

The mirror reflects the candy jars and glasses, which add to the cheerful...

PREPOSITIONAL PHRASES
"On the corner of the street is V an old-fashioned ice-cream shop..."
"In the window is a cute kitten.
"There is a cute kitten."
"In my hometown, we have many parks."
"We have many parks in my hometown."
STYLE

EF6 ; words

nevertheless
He was very tired; nevertheless, he kept working.
I don't like my job; nevertheless, I need the money.

otherwise
Study hard in school; otherwise, you won't be able to go to UBC.

on the contrary
Some people say Vancouver is a very expensive city; on the contrary, compared to Hong Kong, it is not that expensive.
Many people think that Christine Clank is very friendly; on the contrary, she is not.
My son thinks that a monster lives under his bed; on the contrary, the monster actually lives in the closet.

HIGH FREQUENCY
therefore = ,so
however = ,but
also = ,and

in my opinion
Many people think that Christine Clank is very friendly; in my opinion, she is not.

consequently
She twisted her ankle last week; consequently, she can't go hiking on Sunday.
She twisted her ankle last week; therefore, she can't go hiking on Sunday.

She twisted her ankle last week; as a result, she can't go hiking on Sunday.

She twisted her ankle last week, so she can't go hiking on Sunday.

as a matter of fact
Houses in Vancouver are very expensive; as a matter of fact, even people with good jobs can't afford to get a home.
Houses in Vancouver are very expensive; in fact, even people with good jobs can't afford to get a home.

My son loves to play many sports; namely, he likes soccer, hockey and baseball.

at any rate
I am taking the 2PM ferry.  Joe is taking the 6PM ferry.  May is taking the 7PM ferry.  At any rate, we'll all get there eventually.

undoubtedly
He bought her a diamond ring and a new Smartcar; undoubtedly, he loves her very much.

by the way = change topics
We will be meeting Joan to discuss the new business she is starting in Burnaby; by the way, her mother is very sick.

EF6 Ex28 simple sentences

1. I need to study and work hard.
I should exercise and eat well.
I will go to the cinema and watch a movie.
2. COMMAND- imperative Come in. Sit down,  Relax.
3. I fell off my bike.
He sat on the chair.
5. The boy and the dog chased each other and had fun.

7.  The young child screamed and ran around the doctor's office.
10. Sit and eat!
Check your mirrors and pull away carefully.


Ex,27
9. There are 
There are your sister and brother sitting and singing.
There are two cups of water, and there is a dozen muffins. COMPOUND
9.  The dog is walking around and sniffing the ground over there.

Ef6 simple sentences ex27

Ex27

1.    The little girl likes her kite.

2.    Sit down and rest.

3.    May and Donna had lunch.

.     4. Who are you?

Do you have any ideas?

   5.The old man with a stick in his hand is my father.

     Sit on the chair.

   6. You need to put the bottle and the lunchbox here.

   Here are your change and receipt.

   7. 

EF6 sentence fragment exercises

2. The killer whale, a major attraction at the aquarium for the last fourteen years. FRAG
The killer whale has been a major attraction at the aquarium for the last fourteen years.
The killer whale, a major attraction at the aquarium for the last fourteen years, died yesterday. APPOSITIVE
The killer whale, which has been a major attraction at the aquarium for the last fourteen years, died yesterday. ADJ CL 
My sister, Kathy, is a nurse. APPOSITIVE
My sister, whose name is Kathy, is a nurse. ADJ CL 
Our school, South Hill, is on Fraser Street. APPOSITIVE
Our school, which is called South Hill, is on Fraser Street. ADJ CL
3. It would have to be re-educated in the ways of the wild.
4. If the federal government gave the go-ahead for his release from captivity to return to his original pod, or group, off the coast of Vancouver Island, the people would be happy.

5&6
7&8
10&11

EF6 adverb clauses models

after
The kids do their homework after supper.- prep phrase
The kids do their homework after they eat/finish/have supper.- adv cl

since- because, from a time
She has been very happy since she moved to Florida.- time
She is very happy since she has a new job.- because

ever since- suggests a long time
I have lived in Vancouver ever since I moved here in 1978.
She has been waiting for the bus ever since she got to the bus stop 30 minutes ago.

while
I was reading a book while she was washing the dishes from the big party.
I was reading a book while when the phone rang.

if
He will go to your party if you apologize to him.

even if
He will not go to your party even if you apologize to him.
I won't buy the bicycle even if it's on sale.

provided that- simlar to 'if' very important situations
You can get a NEXUS card provided that you pass the security check.

in order that
Melissa is saving her money in order that she will be able to go to Europe.

in order to- more natural
Melissa is saving her money in order to go to Europe.

if only- dream, not going to happen
I know that Gong Li would marry me if only she would be my Facebook friend.

if only- dream
If only I could get into UBC, I could become a doctor.

if- hopeful, realistic
If I can get into UBC, I can become a doctor.

as...as
She can run as fast as her brother (can).

just as- exactly when
She opened the door just as her phone rang.

EF6 adjective clause exercises

Bob is the kind of person to whom one can talk about anything. FORMAL

Bob is the kind of person who one can talk to about anything.

Bob is the kind of person that one can talk to about anything.

Bob is the kind of person who one can talk to about anything. Bob is the kind of person one can talk to about anything.

Whose- have, own

The boy whose bicycle was stolen was sad.

C.

2. The girl who won the race is happy.

3. The student who is from China sits next to me.

3. The student who sits next to me is from China.

5. We are studying sentences that contain adjective clauses.

5. The sentences that we are studying sentences contain adjective clauses.

8. The taxi driver who took me to the airport was friendly.

12. The people that we visited yesterday were very nice.

A

2. The chair that Sally inherited from her grandmother is an antique.

2. Sally inherited a chair that is an antique from her grandmother.

3. I saw on a bench that was wet.

3. The bench that I sat on was wet.

4. The man who I hired to paint my house finished the job in four days.

6. The architect Mario works with is brilliant.

8. I took a picture of the rainbow that appeared in the sky.

EF6 Main/subordinate

2. if you insist

I will go to your party if you insist. COMPLEX SENTENCE- ADVERB CLAUSE

If you insist, I will go to your party.

3. whenever Heiman arrives

When he arrives, we will go to dinner.
Whenever he arrives, we go out for dinner.
We go out to a dance club whenever Heiman arrives in Vancouver.

4. so that you'll be ready
I will help you so that you'll be ready.
Cut up the vegetables so that you'll be ready to cook.
Pack your suitcase tonight so that you'll be ready to go to the airport by 6 am.
5. provided that it is blue
I don't care what size car it as long as it is blue.
A bride has to have three things: something new, something borrowed and something blue.  It can anything provided that it is blue.
6.since you had the counselling
I don't fight/argue with my wife any more since I had the counselling.
She doesn't smoke cigarettes since she had the counselling.
Since I had the job counselling, I have felt more confident doing job interviews.
9.where Nolan was going
Could you tell me where Nolan was going?
I like the place where Nolan was going.
I don't know where Nolan was going.