We
will get started at 8:30.
Cameras
on. Mics muted.
Today’s
agenda:
1.
Review Test#3 paragraph work
“Advice on How to Write a Paragraph about a
Story”
Look at example paragraph
2.
Quoting words and phrases “ “
3.
Sentence combining from homework TOMORROW
4.
HW Read “The
Ninny”. Consider the questions. I emailed this to
you Friday.
*IMPORTANT*
1. No first person. No “I”. The writing is about the story,
not about you.
2. Avoid plot summary. Don’t tell me the story. Avoid
writing any plot summary.
Test#3
Write a well-organized paragraph on one of the following
topics.
You can read the story while you are doing the test. No
other sources are allowed.
1.
What are some reasons the governor couldn’t cook “Roses
Sing on New Snow” the same as Maylin did?
2.
What theme (main idea or comment on human nature) is
the story showing/telling/conveying? Why
did Paul Yee write the story, do you think?
Paragraph structure:
Grabber (optional, but recommended) – 7 ways to choose from
Topic sentence – related directly to the question
*Your topic sentence must be clear and obvious. The teacher
should be able to tell which question you are answering. If you write about the
story without a topic sentence, then the paragraph will have no focus or direction.
Some of you wrote about the story and about Maylin but you
did not have any topic sentence to direct the paragraph. The writing is loose
and unfocussed and directionless like a feather in the wind.
You must write a paragraph that answers one of the questions.
You can just write about the story in a general way.
Supporting sentences, supporting points related to the topic
sentence. They support the topic sentence.
Concluding sentence
(150-200 words)
TWO OPTIONS:
1.
What are some reasons the governor couldn’t cook “Roses
Sing on New Snow” the same as Maylin did?
2.
What theme (main idea or comment on human nature) is
the story showing/telling/conveying? Why
did Paul Yee write the story, do you think?
The questions were not these:
1.
Write about Maylin.
2.
How do you feel about the story?
3.
How does the story relate to your own life?
4.
Give a plot summary.
**
Advice on How to
Write an Answer about a Story
1. Answer
the question. Stick to the question. Write about the question, just the
question. Zoom in and focus on the question.
2. Begin
with a topic sentence linked to the question. Be clear. Be specific. Make it
obvious. The reader has to know what you are writing about. If the reader is
not clear what topic you are writing about, then the paragraph is not a successful
paragraph. A title or writing the question down is not the same as a topic
sentence. If a teacher doesn’t know what you are writing about, the paragraph
will not get a decent mark.
3. Don’t
write about yourself. You are not in the story. Don’t write about your life.
Don’t write about your mother. Write about the story, just the story.
Narrative
writing is about you.
4. Make
a plan before your write. A successful trip need a plan. You wouldn’t fly in a
plane that did not have a flight plan and destination. You shouldn’t write
without a plan. If a teacher is reading a paragraph that does not have a plan
and a direction, that teacher will not reward you with high marks.
Make
an outline. Do some prewriting.
Brainstorm
3-4 points.
5. Don’t
be a balloon. Be a flying squirrel.
6. Keep
your boat close to the shore. Stay on topic, always close to the topic. Whatever
your topic sentence is, stick to that. Stay on that idea.
These ideas will
help you get top marks in a school classroom.
TS: Despite his extreme interest, the governor was not able
to make such delicious food.
What
are some reasons the governor couldn’t cook “Roses Sing on New Snow” the same
as Maylin did?
GRABBER In ABC Land, we say “The best
food is prepared with the heart and seasoned with love.” That means that you
can make any food every single day, but if it is not make it made with
love the food can be replaced for any another dish. However,
Maylin is a passionate cook, and she cooked with love. TOPIC SENTENCE Here
are three reasons why the governor couldn’t cook “Roses Sing on New Snow” the
same Mylin did. Firstly, Maylin makes her dishes for people to revitalize
VF their spirits. Secondly, a special and authentic food is making VF
with love. For example, “Roses Sing on New Snow” was a creation with simple
ingredients, (1) AVOID NUMBERING fish, (2) greens or
vegetable and (3) herbs and spices. On the other hand, Maylin is an
authentic cooker, and she likes to see people, enjoying and being happy while
they eating her food. MOVE ABOVE Thirdly, the governor didn’t work hard his
life as a cooker like Maylin did. As a matter of fact, Maylin worked at her father’s
restaurant “seven days a week, every week of the year”. easier
“seven days a week [and]
every week of the year”. square brackets
As a matter of fact, Maylin
worked at her father’s restaurant “seven days a week, every week of the year”.
TOO LONG
As a matter of fact, Maylin
worked at her father’s restaurant “seven days a week”. BETTER
As a matter of fact, Maylin
worked at her father’s restaurant every day all day long with no vacations. No quotations
marks“ “, not a quotation. You rewrote the idea into your own words.
Consequently, she acquired
lots of experience as a cooker WW. To summarize, Maylin is a talented
cooker and a hard worker person. DOES NOT ADDRESS THE QUESTION In summary,
these are the reasons why the governor cannot cook the dish like Maylin.
5/6,
4.8/6
Well
organized.
When
you copy words from the story, use “ ”.
quotations
marks
copy
only a few words (3-4 words)
easiest
to quote it exactly.
Keep your quotations short.
** Using quotations marks is not
a green light for you to copy long sentences from the story. Quote only a few
words.
Maylin
loved to cook for her customers, and “Maylin worked to renew their spirits”.
TOO LONG
INCORPORATE
INTO OUR OWN SENTENCE
Mayling
loved to cook for her customers and “renew their spirits”. SHORTEN, INCORPORATED,
INCLUDED SMOOTHLY
“fashioned
a dish of delectable flavors and aromas” TOO LONG
‘fashioned
a dish”
Maylin
used all of her skills and “fashioned a dish” that represented her true heart
and spirit. BEAUTIFULLY INCORPORATED QUOTATION
“a dish
of delectable flavors”
Maylin
used all of her skills and created “a dish of delectable flavors” that represented her true heart and spirit. BEAUTIFULLY INCORPORATED
QUOTATION
For EF6, this would top-quality
writing. It is a high goal, but we can strive for it. We are all flying
squirrels trying to reach that distant tree.
- you for English
-me for music
-my daughter for cooking
-your son for math
If you can create a paragraph
answer like this, you will be ready for anything.
HOMEWORK
-
Your challenge: Write a
sentence about the story and put a word or a few quoted words in your sentence.
We’ll share them tomorrow.
e.g. “her imagination”
Maylin cared deeply about her
cooking and was sure to use “her imagination” when she
was making food.
Your examples:
She cooked with her love same
as when she cooked for men who were “lonely and cold and bone-tired.” A BIT
LONG Good work!
No comments:
Post a Comment