Wednesday, 3 April 2019
EF5/6 Sentence combining "Ride to School" "Sarah"
Ride to School
1. Alex woke up at seven and/but felt disappointed because it was raining and cold. He dreaded the thought of riding his bike to school in the foul weather.
2. During breakfast, he watched his mom for signs of what mood she was in; he hoped that she would be relaxed and not busy.
3. She looked out of the window and shook her head disapprovingly at the weather; he asked if she had spare time to drive him to school.
4. She emphasized that since it was October, the weather would be frequently bad, and that he must get used to it because she couldn't drive him every day.
She emphasized the bad weather would be frequent in October, and he must get used to it. She couldn't drive him every day.
5. He tried not to smile as he reminded her of his cold and that his brakes needed replacing.
6. She laughed and told him he was lazy; however, she admired his reasoning and agreed to drive him this time.
Sarah
1. When a student goes to a new school, she is usually nervous along with everyone else.
2. We worried about whether a blind student could maneuver in our sprawling school.
Because our school was sprawling, we worried about whether a blind student could maneuver in it.
3. Sarah helped us immediately.
4. She amazed us during the tour of the building by jumping down the last steps at the bottom of the staircase.
5. When classes began, she even handled running laps with confidence and ease.
6. Very quickly we forgot that she could not see.
We forgot very quickly that she could not see.
1. Alex woke up at seven and/but felt disappointed because it was raining and cold. He dreaded the thought of riding his bike to school in the foul weather.
2. During breakfast, he watched his mom for signs of what mood she was in; he hoped that she would be relaxed and not busy.
3. She looked out of the window and shook her head disapprovingly at the weather; he asked if she had spare time to drive him to school.
4. She emphasized that since it was October, the weather would be frequently bad, and that he must get used to it because she couldn't drive him every day.
She emphasized the bad weather would be frequent in October, and he must get used to it. She couldn't drive him every day.
5. He tried not to smile as he reminded her of his cold and that his brakes needed replacing.
6. She laughed and told him he was lazy; however, she admired his reasoning and agreed to drive him this time.
Sarah
1. When a student goes to a new school, she is usually nervous along with everyone else.
2. We worried about whether a blind student could maneuver in our sprawling school.
Because our school was sprawling, we worried about whether a blind student could maneuver in it.
3. Sarah helped us immediately.
4. She amazed us during the tour of the building by jumping down the last steps at the bottom of the staircase.
5. When classes began, she even handled running laps with confidence and ease.
6. Very quickly we forgot that she could not see.
We forgot very quickly that she could not see.
EF5/6 Grabbers and hooks for beginning paragraphs
Paragraph:
Topic sentence: topic + controlling idea
- support ideas
-
-
-
Concluding sentence
To make your paragraph more interssting, you can begin with a grabber/hook. A grabber/hook will get your reader's attention and make them want to keep reading.
What did Maylin teach everyone?
Grabber/Hook
1. A general to specific statement
In the past, women have not been treated fairly because of their gender. However, our society is changing because many women are demanding to be treated equally. In the story "Roses Sing on New Snow", Maylin taught everybody that women should be treated with respect.
A funnel - the meaning starts off wide (general) and then gets narrow (specific- Topic sentence)
2. Fact or statistic - number, %
Women make up 50% of all people, but they receive far less than their share of opportunities, rights, and recognition.
3. Anecdote - a very short personal story
When I was a little kid, my family had a shop and I worked in it every day for no pay.
4. Historical information
Throughout history in most societies, women have always been put on a lower level in society than men.
5. Ask a question?
Have you ever been treated unfairly?
6. Adage, idiom, expression from your first language, any language
7. Famous quotation from famous person
Grabber/Hook - choose one that you like
- General to specific
- Fact or statistic
- Anecdote
- Historical
- Question?
- Adage, idiom, expression
- Famous quotation from famous person
matriarchal society -
matriarch - top woman in the group
patriarchy - controlled by men
matrilineal society - family takes the mother's name
patrilineal society - takes the father's name
lineal - line, family line, family tree
You can make your paragraph more interesting by beginning it with a grabber/hook that is on-topic (related to the question/writing prompt). Choose one that you like.
Monday, 1 April 2019
Sentence fragments, run-on sentences, and comma splices
Common errors:
sentence fragments - frag
run-on sentence - RO
comma splice - CS
sentence fragment - not a complete sentence, something is missing
Lesson 1
1. The Mississippi River the largest river in North America. frag
POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS
1. The Mississippi River is the largest river in North America. SIMPLE
A. The Mississippi River, which is the largest river in North America, runs north to south. COMPLEX- adjective clause
B. The Mississippi River which is the largest river in North America runs north to south. COMPLEX- adjective clause
A is the best choice. It has a non-restrictive clause.
2. The Mississippi River, which is the largest river in North America, runs north to south. adjective clause
3. The Mississippi River, the largest river in North America, runs north to south. appositive
My sister, whose name is Kathy, is a traveller.
My sister, Kathy, is a traveller. appositive
Our city, Vancouver, is a really nice.
Choice. You can choose. You must know your sentence styles.
2. Reached a verdict after three hours. frag
SOLUTION
The jury reached a verdict after three hours.
The judge reached a verdict after three hours.
Court cases are public.
Law Courts -
3. The reward for a hard day's work. frag
The reward for a hard day's work is Earnest ice cream.
An ice-cold beer is the reward for a hard day's work.
He is a four-year-old kid.
This is a nine-week class.
7. The term "canoe" referring to several types of thin, long boats. frag
The term "canoe" refers to several types of thin, long boats.
The term "canoe", referring to several types of thin, long boats, is word that comes from a First Nations language. appositive
The term "canoe", which refers to several types of thin, long boats, is word that comes from a First Nations language. COMPLEX adj.cl.
10. Early people creating art on the walls of caves.
frag
Early people created art on the walls of caves.
Early people were creating art on the walls of caves.
Early people expressed their humanity by creating art on the walls of caves.
sentence fragments - frag
run-on sentence - RO
comma splice - CS
sentence fragment - not a complete sentence, something is missing
Lesson 1
1. The Mississippi River the largest river in North America. frag
POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS
1. The Mississippi River is the largest river in North America. SIMPLE
A. The Mississippi River, which is the largest river in North America, runs north to south. COMPLEX- adjective clause
B. The Mississippi River which is the largest river in North America runs north to south. COMPLEX- adjective clause
A is the best choice. It has a non-restrictive clause.
2. The Mississippi River, which is the largest river in North America, runs north to south. adjective clause
3. The Mississippi River, the largest river in North America, runs north to south. appositive
My sister, whose name is Kathy, is a traveller.
My sister, Kathy, is a traveller. appositive
Our city, Vancouver, is a really nice.
Choice. You can choose. You must know your sentence styles.
2. Reached a verdict after three hours. frag
SOLUTION
The jury reached a verdict after three hours.
The judge reached a verdict after three hours.
Court cases are public.
Law Courts -
3. The reward for a hard day's work. frag
The reward for a hard day's work is Earnest ice cream.
An ice-cold beer is the reward for a hard day's work.
He is a four-year-old kid.
This is a nine-week class.
7. The term "canoe" referring to several types of thin, long boats. frag
The term "canoe" refers to several types of thin, long boats.
The term "canoe", referring to several types of thin, long boats, is word that comes from a First Nations language. appositive
The term "canoe", which refers to several types of thin, long boats, is word that comes from a First Nations language. COMPLEX adj.cl.
10. Early people creating art on the walls of caves.
frag
Early people created art on the walls of caves.
Early people were creating art on the walls of caves.
Early people expressed their humanity by creating art on the walls of caves.
Eng 12 essay debrief
KEY THINGS THAT I LOOK FOR
-Thesis statement based on the writing prompt or question
thesis (Latin) 'idea'
Thesis statement - topic, controlling idea
OPTIONAL (good idea)
- Grabber, hook- gets the attention of your reader
- Quoted material - just a few words
Incorporate quoted material into your sentences
The protagonist in "Invitations" was happy when she first received the offers, but then felt unhappy. "she felt for the first time directly threatened" (30)
NO GOOD
Incorporate just the key words "directly threatened"
The protagonist in "Invitations" was happy when she first received the offers, but then felt "directly threatened"(30) by them.
INCORPORATED
INCORPORATE - learn how to do that
- Paragraphs - break into paragraphs
Introduction
Body paragraphs (2-4 paragraphs)
Conclusion
- Quality of sentences
SIMPLE, COMPOUND, COMPLEX
COMPOUND SENTENCES - transitional terms
People were using more interesting ones:
; moreover,
; to tell the truth,
; in sum,
BORING
; therefore,
; however,
- Good ideas - reading the story carefully, reading it several times, making notes
- Length of the essay (300w)
Hopefully, you are feeling less anxious, less unsure, more comfortable, and more competent.
Confidence is fragile. You can trust yourself.
-Thesis statement based on the writing prompt or question
thesis (Latin) 'idea'
Thesis statement - topic, controlling idea
OPTIONAL (good idea)
- Grabber, hook- gets the attention of your reader
- Quoted material - just a few words
Incorporate quoted material into your sentences
The protagonist in "Invitations" was happy when she first received the offers, but then felt unhappy. "she felt for the first time directly threatened" (30)
NO GOOD
Incorporate just the key words "directly threatened"
The protagonist in "Invitations" was happy when she first received the offers, but then felt "directly threatened"(30) by them.
INCORPORATED
INCORPORATE - learn how to do that
- Paragraphs - break into paragraphs
Introduction
Body paragraphs (2-4 paragraphs)
Conclusion
- Quality of sentences
SIMPLE, COMPOUND, COMPLEX
COMPOUND SENTENCES - transitional terms
People were using more interesting ones:
; moreover,
; to tell the truth,
; in sum,
BORING
; therefore,
; however,
- Good ideas - reading the story carefully, reading it several times, making notes
- Length of the essay (300w)
Hopefully, you are feeling less anxious, less unsure, more comfortable, and more competent.
Confidence is fragile. You can trust yourself.
EF5/6 Topic sentences
Paragraphs - academic style, school style
high school, college, university
Topic sentence - addresses the question directly
refers to the question
writing prompt = question
Topic sentence - topic, controlling idea
WTC p20
Practice 1
1. Alcohol is harmful to your health.
Topic sentence
Topic: 'alcohol'
Controlling idea: 'harmful to health'
Support ideas
1. damage liver
2. can't control yourself
3. may become alcoholic
4.put on weight ?
Alcohol is very good to us.
Topic: alcohol
Controlling idea: good for us
Support ideas (example, evidence)
1. 1 glass red wine daily, health benefits
2. forget your problems, helps you relax
3. gets a party going, social
4. business relations
Writing prompt: Legalized marijuana in Canada
Topic sentence - opinion like-dislike
Did you write a topic sentence?
What does Maylin teach everyone in "Roses Sing on New Snow"?
Your topic sentence should address the question/writing prompt.
Topic + controlling idea = Topic sentence
e.g. exampli gratia (Latin) example free
What does Maylin teach everyone in "Roses Sing on New Snow"?
Topic sentence:
In "Roses Sing on New Snow", Maylin teaches everyone that women are just as capable as men.
In "Roses Sing on New Snow", Maylin teaches everyone that all people have special skills that may be hidden.
Not this:
I just read a story. It was about a young woman blah blah blah.
DON'T RETELL THE PLOT Maylin worked in her father's restaurant every day. She liked to cook.
high school, college, university
Topic sentence - addresses the question directly
refers to the question
writing prompt = question
Topic sentence - topic, controlling idea
WTC p20
Practice 1
1. Alcohol is harmful to your health.
Topic sentence
Topic: 'alcohol'
Controlling idea: 'harmful to health'
Support ideas
1. damage liver
2. can't control yourself
3. may become alcoholic
4.
Alcohol is very good to us.
Topic: alcohol
Controlling idea: good for us
Support ideas (example, evidence)
1. 1 glass red wine daily, health benefits
2. forget your problems, helps you relax
3. gets a party going, social
4. business relations
Writing prompt: Legalized marijuana in Canada
Topic sentence - opinion like-dislike
Did you write a topic sentence?
What does Maylin teach everyone in "Roses Sing on New Snow"?
Your topic sentence should address the question/writing prompt.
Topic + controlling idea = Topic sentence
e.g. exampli gratia (Latin) example free
What does Maylin teach everyone in "Roses Sing on New Snow"?
Topic sentence:
In "Roses Sing on New Snow", Maylin teaches everyone that women are just as capable as men.
In "Roses Sing on New Snow", Maylin teaches everyone that all people have special skills that may be hidden.
Not this:
I just read a story. It was about a young woman blah blah blah.
DON'T RETELL THE PLOT Maylin worked in her father's restaurant every day. She liked to cook.
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