English 11 Using quoted material in answers

“What does Wong Bak look like?”

“half-flopped puppet” (16)
“Gnarled thick fingers” (17)
“crooked legs” (17)
“haggard weight bearing down” (16)
“enormous hump” (16)
“wide-eyed, wet-nosed creature” (17)

BASIC
Wong Bak had an “enormous hump” (16) and “crooked legs” (17).

Wong Bak had a twisted broken body; his “enormous hump” (16) made it difficult for him to stand up straight.  He also had “crooked legs” (17) which forced him to walk shakily with two canes.

In fact, his “wide-eyed, wet-nosed” (17) face made him look strange to most people.  However, his wrinkled face reminded Jook Liang of the Monkey King.

INCORPORATING QUOTATIONS


His old head had a “balding, grey crown” (16).
Wong Bak had “[g]narled thick fingers” (17) from years of hard work.
USE SQUARE BRACKETS [ ] TO MAKE SMALL GRAMMATICAL OR STYLISTIC CHANGES
Wong Bak had had a difficult life which had made his fingers “[g]narled [and] thick” (17) NOT BEAUTIFUL

REWRITE
Wong Bak had had a difficult life which had left him with “thick fingers” (17) which were twisted from years of hard work.
MUCH SIMPLER AND MORE ELEGANT