Monday, 25 February 2013

E10 example decent paragraph


Process                 1. Analyze
                             2. BS
                             3. OL
                             4. RC
                             5. Edit
                             6. GC

How would you have acted if you were a guard or a prisoner?

Stanford experiment, guard, nice
persuasive-IMPORTANCE

BS/OL

1.rmemebr that it was just an experiemtn and not real, lose perspective

2.-punisgment doesn’t work, be a role model for pepopel who show bad bheavipour

3.-my gfmailt raised is like that to try to be sympathetic-show repect to weaker poepler


RC
How would you have acted if you were a guard or a prisoner?

Topic sentence to reflect question, mirror vocabulary, on-topic!








          If I were a guard in the Stanford Prison Experiment, I would have been much kinder than the real guards were.  First of all, I’m confident that I would have remembered that it was just an experiment and not a real situation.  I would have kept reminding myself that I was not a real guard and that the others were not really prisoners.  Secondly, I truly believe that punishment does not help people to change their behavior.  If I had acted as a compassionate role model, maybe some of the prisoners would followed my example of how to be a decent person to people who are weaker than them.   Most importantly, I was raised with strong role models who demonstrated kindness and respect to people who were weaker than them.  Although sometimes people take advantage of kindness, mostly people respond well to kindness and fairness.  In short, if I ever find myself in a similar situation to the prison experiment, I am confident I will treat the people acting as prisoners with decency and respect.  However, the truth is that most average people, who are just like me, don’t.

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