Hi.  I think this construction caused some confusion today.  Let me give three examples:

The woman danced, smiled and laughed.
The woman danced while smiling and laughing.
The woman danced, smiling and laughing.

Which one do you like most?  Which one would you be most likely to use in your own writing?

The shack, which had roof boards which were crackling with fire and buckled walls, shuddered and collapsed with a roar.

The shack, its roof boards crackling with fire, collapsed with a roar when its/the walls buckled.

The train engine lumbered forward, its wheels glinting in the sun as they squeaked and strained under their load.

Grandpa listened to the news with his head cocked to one side; frowning and chewing his lip, he clicked off the radio, sighed and swore.

While frowning and chewing his lip, Grandpa listened to the news with his head cocked to one side; then he clicked off the radio, sighing and swearing.

Frowning and chewing his lip, Grandpa listened to the news with his head cocked to one side; then he clicked off the radio, sighing and swearing.

The batter tensed and dug his toe in the dust as he watched the pitch; then he squeezed the bat handle and swung with his weight as hard as he could.

After digging his toe in the dust, the tensed batter watched the pitch.

Mayor Glump can support the motion that deals with subsistence aid to the elderly, but as this would reverse his political stand against “handouts”, he can risk almost certain defeat at the election by voters who would be greatly distressed.

Mayor Glump can support the motion that deals with subsistence aid to the elderly; however, he can risk almost certain defeat at the election by voters who would be greatly distressed by this reversal of his political stand against “handouts”.

The children shrieked and whooped as they raced across the field, their shirttails flying and arms flailing; when they hit the water, they pelted each other with handfuls of mud.

Racing across the field, the children shrieked and whooped with flying shirttails and flailing arms; they hit the water and pelted each other with handfuls of mud.

Cosby answer

1.   What comment does Bill Cosby make about the “reward for being a parent”? (99)  Is this humorous or serious?  Why do you think so?

Bill Cosby says the “reward for being a parent” is to have adult children return to live in the family home long after they have become adults.  Of course, Cosby is speaking ironically when he says this.  He is commenting on the increasingly common situation of adult children returning to live with their parents due to financial difficulties.  Cosby is playing off the assumption that his retirement years would be ones of rest and relaxation, not a time to take on the responsibilities of housing and possibly supporting adult children and their families.  In this case, the “reward” is a burden to be borne.

Multiculturalism

There is a growing recognition within Canadian society regarding cultural diversity.

Sensitive thoughtful involved citizens promote this movement which has far-reaching political and social ends that include changes in attitudes in education, law and media toward minorities. (How to get ‘favourable’ in there?)

This movement has far-reaching social and political ends which are promoted by sensitive thoughtful involved citizens who seek favourable changes in attitude toward minorities in education, law and media.

The idea is similar to movements in other countries which centre on issues of human understanding, pluralism, and equal rights.

The idea is similar to movements in other countries in that they centre on issues of human understanding, pluralism, and equal rights.

Multiculturalists do not view society as “a melting pot” but rather as “a tossed salad”: the ingredients, which are people, retain their own special identities and make unique contributions to enhance the overall flavour of the society.

Multiculturalists do not view society as “a melting pot” but rather as “a tossed salad” in which the people who make up the ingredients retain their own special identities and make unique contributions that enhance the overall flavour of the society.

Multiculturalism influences lifestyle and works to maintain a cultural Canadian mosaic.

Link to A-Word-A-Day: http://wordsmith.org/awad/
Link to lower level word-a-day: http://www.eslmonkeys.com/student/wordoftheday.php
Link to Washington Post Crossword: http://www.washingtonpost.com/2012/04/12/gIQA8XbgDT_page.html

Rollercoaster Sent Comb

1-3

The roller coaster, which made its appearance in 1884, is still one of the most exciting rides in an amusement park.

The roller coaster has stayed/been/continued to be/remained one of the most exciting rides in an amusement park since it made its appearance in 1884.

Although/Even though/Though the roller coaster made its first appearance in an amusement park in 1884, it is still one of the most exciting rides.

4-8

Although the newer fancier rides like the log flumes and the screaming demons fail to draw the crowds, they line up to ride the roller coaster.

The newer fancier rides like the log flumes and the screaming demons fail to draw the crowds who line up to ride the roller coaster.

Even the newer fancier rides like the log flumes and screaming demons fail to draw the crowds that line up to ride the roller coasters.

10-12

Both young and old seem to enjoy this traditional favourite. (active voice)

This traditional favourite seems to be enjoyed by young and old. (passive voice- weak)

13-23

Its open cars and steep inclines combine the simplicity of a railroad with the sudden stomach-turning plunges of an Alpine ski jump and the swirl of a winding bobsled run.

24-29

As the passengers who have waited in line for over an hour ready themselves for the first hill, the coaster starts like a train pulling slowly away from a station.

The passengers who have waited in line for over an hour ready themselves for the first hill as the coaster starts pulling slowly away from a train from the station.

30-32

The cars jerk hesitantly as the coaster climbs to the summit, wheels clicking every inch of the way.

33-37

The passengers are poised at the peak, bracing themselves for the exhilarating downhill plunge they have been waiting for.

38-40

The diving cars whip them into a frenzy of screaming laughter.

The cars dive, whipping them into a frenzy of screams and laughter.

41-47

The coaster sweeps through the first valley and races on to the other dips and turns in a flow of continuous motion that leaves the thrillseekers hanging in midair, their white knuckles gripping the retaining bar.

The coaster sweeps through the first valley and races on to the other dips and turns in a flow of continuous motion that leaves the thrillseekers hanging in midair, their white knuckles gripping the retaining bar.

Sweeping through the first valley, the rollercoaster races on to the other dips and turns in a flow of continuous motion, leaving the white-knuckled thrillseekers gripping the retaining bar as they hang in midair.

After sweeping through the first valley, the rollercoaster races on to the other dips and turns in a flow of continuous motion that leaves the white-knuckled thrillseekers gripping the retaining bar as they hang in midair.

Topic sent and Air Show Sent Comb

When we seek to acquire new skills or knowledge, we had better follow two simple steps: learn and practice.
Repetition is the key to learning how to do new things.
There are only two ways that our brains will remember new things: fear or repetition.  I recommend repetition.
People often say “Practice makes perfect”.  I agree.
When I was learning how to swim when I was a little kid, I had a coach who forced me to swim and swim and swim.  That repetition made me a good swimmer.
If I want to learn some new skill, I always practice it just before I go to sleep.  The next morning, I can do the skill better.
The key to learning new skills or knowledge is to immerse yourself in the subject until it becomes second-nature to you.

1. The limits of my language are the limits of my mind in that all is know is what I have words for.
1. My mind is limited by my language: all I can know is what I have words for.
1. What I can know in my mind is limited by what I have words for in language.
2. Writing is one off the easiest things to do, but erasing is one of the hardest.
2. Writing is easy; erasing is hard.
3. An original writer is not one who imitates nobody but one whom nobody can imitate.
4. A good writer is not a scholar or a redeemer of mankind- she is a storyteller.
4. A good writer is a storyteller, not a scholar or a redeemer of mankind.
4. A storyteller, not a scholar or a redeemer of mankind, makes a good writer.
5. A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.
5. For a woman to write fiction, she must have money and a room of her own.
6. There are two kinds of writers: the great ones who can give you truths, and the lesser ones who can give you only themselves.
 6. Of the two kinds of writers, the lesser ones can give you only themselves whereas the great ones can give you truths.
7. Your manuscript is both good and original; unfortunately, the parts that are good are not original, and the parts that are original are not good.
8. Words and sentences are subjects of revision; paragraphs and whole compositions are subjects of prevision.
8. Words and sentences are subjects of revision, but paragraphs and whole compositions are subjects of prevision.
9. Writing is no trouble if you jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is easy.  It is the occurring that is difficult.
10. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, and a paragraph should contain no unnecessary sentences just as a drawing should have no unnecessary lines, nor a machine contain no unnecessary parts.
10. A drawing should have no unnecessary lines, nor a machine unnecessary parts; likewise, a sentence should contain no unnecessary words, nor a paragraph unnecessary sentences.

“Air Show” sent comb

1. The air show, which grows bigger every year, attracts thousands of locals and tourists.
The air show, which attracts thousands of locals and tourists, grows bigger every year.
The air show attracts thousands of locals and tourists and grows bigger every year.
2. Teams of screaming jets fly low overhead as pilots display their skills.
Teams of pilots display their skills by flying their screaming jets low overhead.
3. Cringing adults watch in awe and some crying children cover their ears; nevertheless, they all want to see more.
4. Skydivers float gently down to earth from 1000 metres up, guiding their falls to land on a white cross.
5. Biplanes which are imitations of early aircraft engage in fights typical of WW1.